‘Please Lord, Save Me From Your Followers!’

No extra credit for being heterosexual. yeah.

I have another blog too, but it is not open to everyone, for now.

But I’m not sure that I believe that. Women have not been socialized to solve our problems by “thrusting” at them. I was at the pool last week with two of my young friends, Lydia (5) and Braden (4). The kids noticed a beautiful beetle, overturned on the pool deck, with legs flailing in the air. Braden immediately grabbed a stick from the nearby flowerbed and began poking at the beetle. Lydia, clearly disturbed by the pointless poking, ran and got her plastic cup. She gently slid the lip of the cup under the beetle and flipped it over. After a brief period of recovery, the beetle slowly made its way across the pool deck to safety.

I don’t mean to imply that women have superior problem-solving skills (e.g. Why didn’t Lydia use the cup to carry the beetle to safety?) I’m simply struck by the difference in the way that we approach problems (Of course there are exceptions; Anita Bryant was the consummate “stoker.”) And, while I too wish that men would poke less, I’m just not sure how applicable this is to women. Some women would say that we must stoke more; others would argue that the solution is not to become more like men.

Whatever position we take, this entry is a wonderful reminder to pay attention, not just to the problem, but how we approach the problem and what that approach says about us. Thank you, Dan.

http://www.bilerico.com/2009/07/editors_note_loren_a_olson.php

Each of us knows what we have, and presumably we have it because we believe we want those things. We know what we have and aren’t sure we want to let go of it.

On the other hand, the future is uncertain. We can’t know what it is like to live a gay life until we have begun to do so. Most of us who have made the decision to come out realize after having done so that the losses were less than we anticipated and the rewards are greater.

One of my favorite sayings is that “All of life’s important decisions are made without enough information.” We must take a leap of faith.

Loren Olson

First of all, I was raised a Lutheran and had struggled to find a home in the Lutheran church as an openly gay man. I once attended services at the Lutheran Church of Hope in Des Moines, which is, I think, the largest and fastest growing church in the U.S. After attending a service, I sent a note to the pastor, asking what kind of outreach they had to the GLBT community. Here is the response: None. We’re a family church.

That was it. A clear statement that I was not welcome there.

I have since found a home at Plymouth Church, United Church of Christ, in Des Moines, where the GLBT members are integrated into every aspect of the church life. I recently served three years as a Deacon. What was so unbelievable to me was the sense of sanctuary I experienced as a part of this church. The acceptance by non-GLBT members would have been unimaginable to me earlier in my life, and the support we have from the ministers for our community is unparalleled.

But another point in your essay is of concern to me. I think that there is not enough being done to address the needs of those of us who delayed our coming out until mid-life for a variety of different reasons. There is some tendency in the straight and GLBT communities to look upon us as hypocrites.

I think there are important issues related to coming out in mid-life which are not being addressed.

I would be interested in hearing about the expriences of others who have struggled with conflicts about their sexuality beyond the teenage and young adult years.