Did you think you’d ever see the day?

March 17, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

When my parents were “getting up there,” fifty years ago the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) was in its infancy, but it was obvious that among other things the organization was a national union for conservatives and elderly poor who wanted a better break on insurance. So when I hit the Big Five-Oh! and started getting membership invitations from AARP, I did what any boomer generation member would do: I shredded their mailing immediately.

Maybe it’s time to revisit that decision.

This morning’s Los Angeles Times had a prominent article on LGBT seniors and the efforts of mainstream advocacy organizations such as AARP to get our elders a better deal. See: “Medicaid and Social Security changes urged to help gay seniors.”

Of course I’m still not comfortable counting myself among them,but stay tuned.

In following the Times story, I was actually quite amazed at the links I found.

Did you ever think you’d see the AARP web site covered with stuff about Stonewall, gay, and faith? This entire page has stories and information on point.

The AARP web site: Did you ever think you would see the day?

With something like 40 million members, AARP is becoming one of the champions for equal rights for LGBT people because there are millions of us over 50. All the discrimination we’ve faced earlier in life is morphing into forms of elder discrimination. If you haven’t paid attention yet, it may be the time to start realizing how the lack of equal rights in this nation is going to hurt you big time as you age. If you’ve never been an activist for LGBT causes, your own aging may change you.

The Times writer mentions three issues as examples: Social Security and Medicare rules, survivor benefits, and making medical and end-of-life decisions for your partner. The SAGE report, which is being released today, also draws attention to another flashpoint issue in our society: “It calls on federal and state lawmakers to consider ways to legally recognize same-sex relationships so aging partners in a committed relationship can have access to the same support systems that benefit heterosexual seniors.”

I guess I never thought I’d live to see the day that senior citizens’ organizations would basically be calling for same-gender marriage rights. My hunch as to why it is happening is three-fold: boomers are becoming elders; older lesbian/gay people who were resistant to coming out earlier in life are gradually doing so as social acceptance of LGBT people continues to improve; and younger sexual minority persons who are coming out are more and more likely to come out to their entire family, including grandparents. So (heterosexual) elders who become sensitized and supportive of an LGBT grand child are also on the rise.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Links: AARP and gay seniors issues • Wisdom of the Elders • American Society on Aging • SAGE USA

Posted in "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Health, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Opposition 8.

February 23, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

It was encouraging to read an intelligently-framed and almost-timely presented Op-Ed piece in this morning’s Los Angeles Times. Dean Hamer, a molecular biologist, and Michael Rosbach, a medical investigator, wrote an article entitled “Genetics and Proposition 8.”

They present the case that there is constantly-increasing evidence supporting a biological basis for sexual orientation. There is no single “gay gene” that makes us gay, but neither is a single gene that dictates our height, the color of our skin or predisposition to many diseases. Whether we are left– or right–handed also has a genetic basis but there is no one gene that controls this.

Genetics, of course, plays a huge role in the discussion of whether gay or lesbian people choose to be sexually oriented to a member of the same sex rather than the opposite sex. And as we all know, choice constantly hovers in the background in the discussion of religion and of civil rights.

Civil rights are particularly singled out where there is the possibility of discrimination because of things we cannot choose, for example, having a particular ethnicity and skin color. Some things are protected from possible discrimination which are a matter of choice, however, such as religion. But in the current so-called Culture War, our opponents (dare we say “enemies”?) insist that being lesbian or gay is a choice and so try to make the argument that lesbians and gay men are not entitled to special rights.

Hamer and Rosbach’s pointed connection with Proposition 8 is that genetics was an “elephant in the courtroom” in the U.S. District case Perry v. Schwarzenegger when testimony was heard last month. (See a case profile here; we await further proceedings and Judge Walker’s verdict.)

One point made by the writers is worth singling out here, especially as we are still caught up in the passionate arguments about only one item on the so-called Gay Agenda: the right to enter into a civil marriage. Another major element of the Religious Reich’s agenda, you will remember, is to block any and all efforts to “teach homosexuality” in the schools.

The school angle has been part of their war chant ever since California State Senator John Briggs tried to ram through an initiative that would have prevented homosexuals from teaching in California schools. Such a move seems almost quaint now, except it was extremely real 30 years ago that drove thousands of lesbian/gay teachers deeper into their closets. One public opinion poll during the campaign showed the Briggs initiative leading 61% to 31%. Fortunately, the measure was defeated, in part because former governor Ronald Reagan reassured votes that the measure wasn’t needed to protect children. “We have the legal protection now,” he said, allowing voter bigotry to rest in the arms of complacency. (A sympathetic assessment of Reagan and gay people by Dale Carpenter can be found at the Independent Gay Forum.)

But ever since “protect our children” has been an anti-gay chant. It was used again quite openly in the arguments in favor of Proposition 8 in 2008. For example, the anti-gay ProtectMarriage.com site lists three bullet points on “Why Did Proposition 8 Win?”

“In the campaign, voters were told clearly that voting YES on Proposition 8 would do 3 simple things:  

• It would restore the definition of marriage to what the vast majority of California voters already approved and what Californians agree should be supported, not undermined. 
• It would overturn the outrageous decision of four activist Supreme Court judges who ignored the will of the people.
• It would protect our children from being taught in public schools that “same-sex marriage” is the same as traditional marriage, and would prevent other consequences to Californians who will be forced to not just be tolerant of gay lifestyles, but face mandatory compliance regardless of their personal beliefs.”

If homosexuals can marry each other, they argued, schools will be teaching homosexuality in our schools.On January 12, in Attorney Ted Olson’s opening statement in Perry in support of the lesbian and gay plaintiffs seeking to overturn Proposition 8, he drew attention to this gay marriage–schools connection:

“When voters in California were urged to enact Proposition 8, they were encouraged to believe that unless Proposition 8 were enacted, anti-gay religious institutions would be closed, gay activists would overwhelm the will of the heterosexual majority, and that children would be taught that it was `acceptable’ for gay men and lesbians to marry. Parents were urged to `protect our children’ from that presumably pernicious viewpoint.”

In the summer and fall of 2008, we thought the voters’ natural b.s. detectors would flag all that as a fraudulent argument. But we underestimated the power of a stupid idea to gain momentum through voter complacency corrupted by evil intent.What Hamer and Rosbach do is to pinpoint an aspect of the education issue and the gay agenda which many of us have not made clear to reasonable and intelligent minds.

“Recent studies in college classrooms show that exposure of students to information on the causes of homosexuality has a direct influence on opinions about gay rights. This fits with polling data showing that people who believe that gays are `born that way’ are generally supportive of full equality, whereas those who believe it is “a choice” are opposed.”

Here is where it gets really scary. Hamer and Rosbach go on to say:  

“One national survey found that 70% of those who think being gay is a choice favored the reinstitution of sodomy laws. This would turn some 15 million Americans into common criminals for simply being who they are.”

The point is this: it is not merely the (horror of horrors!) idea that if lesbian/gay people have any “special rights” and win the Culture War, little children will learn all about homosexuality and then decide to become queer (it is a choice you know!). It is the deeper homophobic fear that if students of any age learn all about homosexuality, they will simply be more tolerant and accepting of the reality of sexual variance and be disinclined to try to stamp it out through draconian legal measures.

The drum beat of homophobic fear has not relented–not after defeats such as the failure of the Briggs initiative, nor after victories such as Proposition 8. Our enemies continue to hammer away that the Gay Agenda must be stopped everywhere, because otherwise we will insidiously normalize everything about homosexuality. As I have argued elsewhere, the fabrication of  “choice” of sexual orientation is the linch-pin of the anti-gay wagon, and education (not same-sex marriage) is the slipperier slope, because an educated populace (not just children) will be measurably less bigoted.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Homophobia, "The Closet", Lesbian/Gay Marriage, LGBT Rights, History, Public Affairs | Print | No Comments »

The bridge between faith and rights.

February 5, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

Full disclosure: this column is not about Sarah Palin or any other bridge to nowhere that politicians may have built.

Some of us who have been active in the LGBT rights movement for a long time can remember when activist organizations competed viciously against one another, or were torn apart internally because of strident competition between gay men and lesbians. Worse still, there seemed to be this unbridgeable chasm between civil and political activism and the world of faith and religion. No one built a bridge nor even wanted a bridge between them.

I have lived a significant period of my life with a split personality — keeping the “Christian self” apart from the “gay self”; I avoided situations where I would have to come out as gay to a Christian community or as Christian in the LGBT communities. There was something unspoken in me–in many of us–that believed these two distinct selves would never communicate.

It was not altogether accurate, however, and also not true to my faith to suppose that I could not be honest in both communities. As I have matured in faith, I am far less insecure in telling other LGBT people that I am not only a Christian, but a pastor of a Christian congregation.

In recent years we’ve begun to see much more cross-over between LGBT activism in the public/civil/political realm and the faith/spirituality/religion realm. It has probably come about because of another “tipping point” in social change when both camps realized how much we need one another. Case in point, the outcry from the religious communities of America against the evil and draconian legislation proposed in Uganda to annihilate all homosexuals. (For Christ’s sake, even our traditional enemies at Focus on the Family have spoken against it!)

Both the Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force have reached out especially to the LGBT/Christian movement for one clear and compelling reason: it is obvious that Christian extremism on the right (the Religious Reich) is the biggest single obstacle in America to LGBT people achieving the full and equal rights and benefits of a democratic society.

From the HRC Religion & Faith web site: “The Human Rights Campaign Religion and Faith Program mobilizes people of faith to advocate for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Learn more about HRC’s Religion and Faith Program and about the members of its Religion Council.” the site includes news, articles and resources.

The Revs. Eger, Robinson, Russell and Voelkel

HRC’s Religion Council of 13 significant faith leaders include two from the Los Angeles area: Rabbi Denise Eger, who for 18 years has served as the Rabbi of Congregation Kol Ami in West Hollywood, and Rev. Canon Susan Russell, who is Senior Associate for Pastoral Life at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. Both are extremely strong leaders in our environment; both continue to play important roles nationwide, as does Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire.

Under the leadership of Harry Knox, HRC’s Religion and Faith Program has been issuing weekly preaching helps for ministers of welcoming Christian churches to proclaim the full breadth of each week’s Common Lectionary readings.

The Task Force keeps a “Faith” tab on its web menu, and hosts the Institute for Welcoming Resources and the interfaith National Religious Leadership Roundtable. I especially commend the brief “article of faith” by Rev. Rebecca Voelkel, “Why the pro-LGBT movement should welcome religion“, which this blog entry echoes:

“As LGBT religious folks, we often find ourselves in the midst of a squeeze-play between our religious communities and our colleagues in the secular LGBT movement. But, I believe that we, as LGBT religious folks, have a unique and powerful role to play.”In particular, our movement, as it engages our opponents who are overwhelmingly religious, must claim the theological and moral authority of our pro-LGBT voice….”Voelkel, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, is also on the HRC’s Religion Council and serves as Director of the Task Force’s Institute for Welcoming Resources, representing the open/welcoming/affirming/reconciling religious caucuses and movements in faith traditions. There is a wealth of resources on this site.This blog often keeps watch on the weirdos, but we need to keep watch with those strong people of faith who are moving us forward. I hope you will explore these links and plug in wherever is appropriate for you.—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in LGBT Christian, Ecumenical Issues, "The Closet", Faith, History, Coming Out, Public Affairs, Ministry | Print | No Comments »

Tell Minnesota about your life and faith.

November 25, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

My friend Steve just tipped me off to an informal survey which Minnesota Public Radio is conducting about reactions to the ELCA’s August 2009 decision to allow same-gender-partnered clergy in its ranks. In recent days more than a thousand people have expressed their opinion to MPR’s Public Insight Network. Here is how the network summarizes it:

“Of the people who wrote to us, most said they haven’t considered leaving the church over the ELCA’s stance allowing people in committed same-gender relationships to be pastors. In fact, many were concerned that we are giving too much attention to those who want to leave, rather than focusing on the story that most individuals and churches plan to stay with the ELCA. Some wrote to say that this change will bring them back to the church, or keep them from leaving.”

Here is the link to add your name and commentary. Or click on the graphic.

Of the 1,100 people who have written responses, MPR says that 150 are clergy (15%). So I decided to add my “two cents” to their survey:

“I am one who never left the church, not during college years, not even when I came out as a gay man. In seminary, I was deeply conflicted until I gained the spiritual maturity to see that the Gospel was speaking to me with the good news that it is not my achievements nor my self-denial which earned me God’s favor. It is pure grace.

“I began to serve the Church as an ordained pastor–at first closeted, over time less closeted, more outspoken. When the church pushed me off its clergy roster in 1991 I remained faithful anyway. In 2004 I was called back to ministry, by a courageous Lutheran congregation willing to ignore the rules, and specifically to do outreach with gay and lesbian people. I remain in ministry with Hollywood Lutheran Church in an increasingly diverse local community. We are grieved that other powerful and fearful churches threaten to pull out of the ELCA (God bless them wherever they come to rest). As for me and our parish, we continue to give thanks to God for courage, compassion, and open-hearted ministry wherever it springs up. And we believe the Holy Spirit speaks to all through these things.”

Obviously I could say a lot more. This is probably the most condensed form (in 200 words) I have ever told my story and explained my faith.

The hardest to explain briefly is my growing confidence that what has happened in the ELCA, over the last number of years which reached its dramatic conclusion last August, powerfully illustrates the work of the Spirit among us as we try to arrive at truth. It is not the absence of 100 or so congregations which are voting to exit, or the larger number of those congregations who are retaliating against the ELCA by withholding funds, which will change the course of the church to follow Christ more closely. It is the growing number of congregations, pastors and individuals who act courageously, pray fervently, offer hospitality to LGBT people and reserve judgment, and gradually come to see their role in the larger ministry of grace and healing which the whole Christian Church has been given. Regardless of threats of schism, we absolutely must use the courage God gave us to do what is right, continue ministry, speak honestly and lovingly, and not hide in closets of fear or uncertainty.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Faith, LGBT Christian, "The Closet", Living by Grace, Public Affairs, Ministry, Coming Out, ELCA | Print | No Comments »

Get on with repeal or ditch the constitution!

October 30, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Three cheers to Roland Stringfellow’s blog on Unite the Fight’s web site.

Here we are a year later and where do we find ourselves in the fight for marriage equality in California? Two major camps debating on whether to return to the ballot in 2010 or 2012 and we have to ask ourselves the question, “Have we learned from our mistakes?” Are egos and attitudes being altered in order for power to be shared and different voices heard? Has a clear strategy been created and presented? And what about our motivation – are we still angry and humiliated from our loss a year ago that we are planning to return to the polls with revenge? (”I’ll show you who is a second class citizen.”)

Stringfellow writes on behalf of the faith communities in California who are organizing to overturn Proposition 8.

There are many wonderful, hard working individuals who are putting their hearts on the line as they strive to make our world a more accepting and loving place for LGBTQI people and to make marriage equality a reality for us all. If our goal is to repair the divisions that exist in our society as we work for equality, we must examine and ask ourselves, “Do divisions exist within our movement for equality”?I agree with his view that we ought not to be divided over the 2010 vs. 2012 issue. It is an absurd dissipation of energies, and the supposed merits of each idea (get on the next ballot at all costs, or get on the presidential ballot when more liberals turn out) are probably stirred with personality issues that bubble over behind closed doors–even in the LGBT communities.Unfortunately, well-intended internal battles are part of human nature. You may have read or heard that another proposal is out there to completely revamp or replace the California Constitution, which would of course blow away the Proposition 8 language now enshrined by amendment.But even in this, there is division. Repair California is interested in “incremental change”, and filed ballot language yesterday for a measure that would call a limited Constitutional Convention (see press release; ballot language; fact sheet). Meanwhile, California Forward (www.caforward.org) has a different agenda: “fundamental change.” The two groups talk to one another, which is hopeful that there won’t be unnecessary intra-agenda fighting. But what worries me is that Repair California says it won’t touch our issue. What does that mean?

Mark Carlson in the Lutheran Office of Public Policy in Sacramento stated in an e-mail yesterday, “Jim Wunderman, the leader of Repair California, emphasized that the convention would not deal with marriage, abortion, gun control, or prayer in the schools” [italics added]. But the lunatic cesspools of power and money which seek to control those very things have to be drained of their toxic influence. But California Forward, so far, only addresses “fundamental change” in the area of money and budget, not civil rights.

It is all too clear that California is still ruled by several lunatic fringes. Yes, I know, the Religious Reich characterizes us that same way, but we know the truth. And we demonstrate our sanity every time one more of us comes out and tells the truth about our authentic selves, our lives, and our family relationships. Coming out remains the single most powerful tool we have for defeating conservative extremism. It is they who are on the lunatic fringes, because in addition to barrels of cash, they rely on lies, stereotypes fear and paranoia to push their anti-LGBT agenda.

Hopefully, we in the LGBT communities will be energized by what happens at next week’s polls. If marriage equality is set back further by the vote on Question 1 in Maine, for example, it may kick us into taking the reactionary lunatics far more seriously. It has, after all, come to light that the same money bags which financed Proposition 8 are pouring more of their cash into the Main steal-our-rights campaign. On the other hand, if the move to repeal Maine’s marriage rights law fails, it may energize us to claim our self-respect and go back at reversing the damage done by Proposition 8.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Also see: Equality Events; includes Rachel Maddow coverage of Question 1 and interview’s Maine’s Catholic Pro-Marriage Governor (9 minutes).

Posted in Catholic matters, "The Closet", Lesbian/Gay Marriage, LGBT Rights, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

After the eye of the storm.

October 29, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

The Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is still passing through a storm of internal discernment and anxiety about the vote taken by the voting members at its August biennial Assembly to liberalize its rules about lesbian/gay clergy. Before that vote was taken, there was a lot of noise and threats. The vote was like the eye at the center of a hurricane. Now the aftermath is playing out in congregations over whether to leave the denomination or not.Congregations who are probably as far away from interacting with lesbian or gay clergy as possible still feel compelled to consider breaking ties with the Church of their heritage. This is always the way it is. A congregation on the North Dakota prairie is in fact not affected or impacted by whether a congregation in urban California or Illinois has a lesbian or gay pastor. But they also have little to no contact with LGBT people. Their own closeted young people probably left town as fast as possible to look for a better life elsewhere, and the families of LGBT people simply don’t want to expose themselves to ridicule or misunderstanding. So these parishes –even larger ones— keep up the pretense that “we don’t have that problem here,” and feel they can’t even send their mission dollars to a denomination that welcomes us. This past Wednesday, I heard our own Bishop report on a few congregations in this Synod which are acting out the same scripts as in the news release below. Here it is harder to believe that an urban Los Angeles congregation could be so naive, or could not have recognized a powerful statistic: if one out of every ten people is lesbian or gay, then one out of every four families has a family member who is lesbian or gay. When a church says “not welcome!” to the larger community, it is putting one fourth of its own families on notice that they must enter the closet with the lesbian or gay family member and stay there.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

ELCA News Service  -  October 29, 2009 09-241-JB

Some ELCA Congregations Vote to Leave or Redirect Funds, Find It’s Not EasyCHICAGO (ELCA)—Throughout the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA), leaders and members have responded in a variety of ways to changes in the church’s ministry polices, a decision made by voting members of the 2009 Churchwide Assembly. Some members agreed with the decision. Some were opposed. Some weren’t sure how to react. Since the assembly, some ELCA congregations have taken votes to leave the denomination or redirect funds away from the ELCA. Leaders and members in a few such congregations report it’s not always easy to make such choices, and there can be unintended consequences.

The 2009 assembly, which met Aug. 17-23 in Minneapolis, adopted proposals to change ELCA ministry policies. One change makes it possible for Lutherans in publicly accountable, lifelong, monogamous same-gender relationships to serve as ELCA associates in ministry, clergy, deaconesses and diaconal ministers.

For some ELCA leaders and members, the assembly directive was inconsistent with their understanding of biblical authority. They often repeat the assertion that “the ELCA has left them.” The assembly also adopted by exactly a two-thirds majority a social statement on human sexuality. The statement addressed a wide range of matters related to human sexuality, but a portion of it addressed same gender relationships, causing disagreement among the voting members.

Through Oct. 27, the ELCA Office of the Secretary reports an estimated 50 of the ELCA’s 10,396 congregations have taken first votes to leave the denomination or have scheduled them, nearly all because of the assembly’s actions on sexuality. Five such votes have failed. The estimate is based on reports from synod bishops, said David D. Swartling, ELCA secretary.

Some Vote to Leave the ELCA or Try. Generally congregations that want to leave the ELCA are required to take two votes, at least 90 days apart, and must achieve a two-thirds majority of voting members present for each vote. They are also required to “consult” with the synod bishop between votes to leave. Former Lutheran Church in America congregations and ELCA- established congregations must be granted “synodical approval” before their ELCA membership is terminated. The same approval is needed if the congregation chooses to be independent or relate to a non-Lutheran church body. At Wangen Prairie Lutheran Church, Cannon Falls, Minn., 31 members of the 40-member congregation voted 20-11 to leave but failed to achieve the required two-thirds needed under constitutional rules. That has left the Rev. Joy M. Gonnerman, who serves the congregation half-time, with a difficult situation. And she expects some members to challenge the vote. Gonnerman told the ELCA News Service the congregation narrowly defeated an attempt to leave in 2005, after the churchwide assembly that year declined a proposal to change ministry policies. She said Wangen Prairie’s ELCA membership “has been tenuous at best.”

“I keep praying for them, keep preaching and keep administering the sacraments,” she said. Gonnerman noted that most of the 11 who voted to stay attend worship regularly, and many of the others don’t. “I find that those so angry about the sexuality issue talk a lot about God, but not much about Jesus.

We (Lutherans) read the Bible through the lens of Jesus,” Gonnerman said. Gonnerman said she focuses on keeping the congregation together. “I work on unity. My goal as pastor is to work on unity and welcome people with their diverse ideas.” In the coming weeks she said she will offer guidance to members and keep in mind that whatever the congregation decides to do “must come from within.”

A similar situation exists at Christ Lutheran Church, Cottonwood, Minn., which voted 74-44 on Oct. 18 to leave the ELCA, but the vote failed to achieve a two-thirds majority. The congregation’s president, Joel C. Dahl, declined to be interviewed by the ELCA News Service, but said in an e-mail message, “I have hopes that after some further education of our congregation, we will vote again in the affirmative to separate from the ELCA and join another Lutheran denomination.” He told the Marshall Independent newspaper that an informational meeting for the congregation is planned sometime next month.

The Rev. James L. Demke, pastor, confirmed that the 600-member congregation will have “more discussion about the issues.”

St. John Lutheran Church, a 1,200-member congregation in Roanoke, Va., voted 342-143 to leave the ELCA Sept. 27, barely achieving the two thirds majority required. The congregation plans to take a second and final vote to leave the denomination Jan. 10, said the Rev. Mark A.

Graham, senior pastor. Graham explained that the congregation has been discussing issues of marriage, family and human sexuality for many years. After the churchwide assembly acted, he and St. John’s two associate pastors recommended to the congregation council that St. John begin the process to leave the ELCA on the grounds that “the ELCA has left traditional biblical teaching.”

It has not been an easy process. Graham expects as many as one-third of the members will leave the congregation. Some have already left. “The last thing I ever expected is to bring a recommendation that would cause conflict and division,” he said in an interview. “I know there are good Christians who disagree with us. It breaks my heart, but we see no other way.”

Even if the pastors had not made their recommendation, Graham believes many members would have left on their own, perhaps more than the one-third St. John expects to lose. “We would have had conflict here either way if we had not taken action,” he said.

And what will happen if St. John fails to achieve a two-thirds majority at its second vote in January? Graham paused when asked that question. He said he will have some decisions to make about his own future in the ELCA.

“We’ve had publicity about this, and it’s not the kind I’m proud of. It’s a hard thing to convince people that were not anti-homosexual. We’re trying to convey a deep love for the Word of God. It breaks my heart that my own denomination would make decisions based on other factors,” he said.

About five congregations have taken two votes to leave the ELCA so far this year, the ELCA secretary reports. Of those, the largest was Community Church of Joy, Glendale, Ariz., which formally left Sept. 27. Only 129 of its 6,800 baptized members were present for the second vote, which was unanimous.

Some Choose to Withhold Funds. Some ELCA congregations, unhappy with the assembly’s actions, have stopped sending funds to support synod and churchwide ministries. The funds are used, for example, “to plant and renew congregations, to raise up and train leaders in seminaries and campus ministries, to send missionaries, to respond to hunger at home and abroad, and to rebuild communities after natural disasters,” said the Rev. Mark S. Hanson, ELCA presiding bishop, in a Sept. 23 letter to the church’s professional leaders.The ELCA Constitution requires the churchwide organization, synods and congregations “to share in the responsibility to develop, implement and strengthen the financial support program of this church.” Similar required language appears in the ELCA’s Model Constitution for Synods and the Model Constitution for Congregations, yet, decisions are being made in some places to direct funds elsewhere.

The congregation council at 250-member Peace Lutheran Church, Rockdale, Texas, suspended its benevolence payments to the ELCA shortly after the congregation’s pastor, the Rev. Janice A. Campbell, returned from the assembly where she was a voting member. Instead, it sent its September funds to support a Lutheran orphanage in Tanzania and will send funds for the remainder of 2009 to a local food bank and Lutheran Disaster Response, a collaborative ministry of the ELCA and the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod. Peace’s annual benevolence is nearly $21,000, according to the 2009 ELCA Yearbook.

Campbell told members from the beginning that she didn’t want anyone to leave, and she urged the congregation members to respond together. Campbell said she is concerned about a member and a family that may leave the congregation. “I don’t want to lose those people. It is important that we listen to one another,” she said.

Some members are talking about joining Lutheran Congregations for Mission in Christ (LCMC), she said. “I don’t know if I’m going with them or not. LCMC is not for me,” she said. Campbell said she has been a strong supporter of the ELCA Southwestern Texas Synod in the past. Global relationships are more valuable to Campbell than is the denomination, she said. In particular Lutherans in Africa have much to teach the ELCA, she said. Campbell said she was not happy that objections to the sexuality proposals voiced by Lutheran churches in Africa were “skimmed over” and not shared with voting members at the assembly.

“I wish there was a way for the ELCA to come to realization that this was a catastrophic (theological) error,” she said of the actions on sexuality. “I will continue to pray for the ELCA, for the synod and for the bishops.”

The congregation council at St. Luke Lutheran Church, Cottage Grove, Minn., made a similar decision. St. Luke’s senior pastor, the Rev. Timothy J. Housholder, a churchwide assembly voting member, declined to be interviewed for this story. But he wrote to his congregation earlier this month that, since the assembly, he had received more than 100 communications, most expressing concern about the decisions. The council redirected remaining 2009 benevolence funds away from the ELCA Saint Paul Area Synod and the churchwide organization, he said, “to allow time for St. Luke to ‘breathe’ and discern what the ELCA’s recent actions mean for us.” Lutheran Social Services and Lutheran World Relief will be sent St. Luke’s funds, Housholder reported. St. Luke has 2,200 baptized members, and gives about $43,000 annually in benevolence funds.

Not all are in agreement. Two members of St. Luke, Rebecca and Alan Holz, wrote to the South Washington County Bulletin newspaper saying that the decision to withhold the funds was made without approval of the church’s members. “My husband and I feel strongly that this act is counter to what St. Luke’s prior statement to the community was of ‘the Welcoming Church,’ and we are deeply disappointed we were not allowed to express our views prior to the council’s decision,” their Oct. 14 letter said.

Member Natalie Seim also wrote the paper’s editor to point out that the council’s vote to begin “discernment” was not shared by all members. The council has scheduled a forum for St. Luke members on Nov. 1.

For information contact: John Brooks, Director (773) 380-2958 or news@elca.org

http://www.elca.org/news ELCA News Blog: http://www.elca.org/news/blog

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Where have we been?

October 22, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Church of Sweden to Conduct Same-Gender Marriage Ceremonies

October 22, 2009 • Phil Soucy, Director Communications LC/NA

This morning the Board of the Lutheran Church of Sweden voted and announced that the church would conduct marriage ceremonies for same-gender couples, using gender-neutral liturgies for both LGBT and heterosexual weddings. The vote of the board of the church was taken at its meeting this morning and is reported as 176-62, with 11 abstentions and 2 absences.

Thirty years ago, Sweden declared homosexuality was not disease. The church has offered blessings for same-gender couples since 2007. In April, Sweden passed a law that granted marriage equality to all. That law went into effect in May.

Some in the Church of Sweden are of the opinion that marriage in the church ought to be reserved for man-woman unions, and argued for that position. Today’s vote ended that debate. The new ruling will go into effect on November 1, 2009. The news amazes even me.  I’ve been watching the European Lutheran churches liberalize much sooner and more completely than the American churches (the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod marching decisively into the past and the Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod being theologically about where the Taliban is).

European churches started ordaining women as early as World War II ~ for lack of enough males to fill pulpits. The late Swedish theologian Krister Stendahl, who taught for many years at Harvard and then elected Bishop of Stockholm, was an early supporter of the full inclusion of gay and lesbian people in church and society. After retiring in 1989 he returned to Harvard and was a keynote speaker for LC/Los Angeles in the 1990s. When I talked with him personally, he was quite open about the fact that he had a lesbian on his episcopal staff in Sweden. Not long after, I received a phone call form Sweden asking for any resources I had on same-sex marriage rites.

In April Sweden became the seventh country in the world to legalize same-gender marriage. In May, the diocese of Stockholm elected a partnered lesbian, Eva Brunne, as bishop. Times have changed, and the church in many places is changing with it.

But I am sure the America Christian scene will go ballistic about this latest. I can hardly wait to hear what that hate-mongering Topeka preacher will say or do. He’s already banned from entering the U.K. ever again. I wonder if the tolerant Swedes will allow him in to protest the lesbian and gay weddings that are set to begin November 1.

It is easy to forget that America is not the center of the debates about LGBT people and the Christian faith. American Christianity has had very different experiences than other one-time Christian nations, and of late, thanks to fundamentalism and the corrosive mixture of religion and politics, American Christians have been dragging their feet for years.

According to Associated Press, “Sweden’s archbishop Anders Wejryd said he was pleased with the decision, while the Swedish Federation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Rights described it as ‘a big step in the right direction.’”

But it still amazes me, and reminds me that those of us who are sexual minority Christians must live into the changing environment in our faith communities. We read the headlines with glee, but remain fearful or completely closeted. Or we go on with life and almost forget that in many quarters we are not as rejected or avoided as we were a decade or two back. If the world’s Christians are indeed loosening up, our emotional homework is to claim the grace we have always believed God has offered to us, and trust the Good News as well as the daily news.

— Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Lesbian/Gay Marriage, "The Closet", Ecumenical Issues, LGBT Christian, Living by Grace, LGBT Rights, History | Print | No Comments »

The institutional and the theological high ground.

September 24, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

This summer has been a tipping point for the ELCA, the largest of the Lutheran churchbodies in the United States. Somehow, while many observers weren’t paying much attention, but the Holy Spirit was near, this largely Midwestern-based Protestant church slipped from the conservative column to the liberal. Its actions in Assembly a month ago in Minneapolis are still being weighed and measured for significance.

Yesterday, Presiding Bishop Mark S. Hanson (who is also the President of the Lutheran World Federation) issued a “pastoral letter” on the tipping point — what he thinks about how Lutherans should feel about the major change in the ELCA’s view of same-gender relationships and lesbian/gay clergy.

For review, there was no official prior policy against same-gender relationships. No Lutheran pastor has been defrocked or disciplined by the ELCA for officiating at a lesbian wedding. Not so for the Presbyterians and the Methodists, who have drawn their line in the sand way to the right of the Lutherans.

But there was an official policy against rostering (ordaining, commissioning or hiring) out lesbian and gay clergy who are in same-gender relationships.

And there was no policy to forbid gay or lesbian persons from being clergy if they promised to be celibate forever, although the defacto rule is that any congregation that blanched at the thought of a homosexual pastor with a same-sex spouse would have blanched at the thought of a celibate homosexual pastor, too.

You can read Hanson’s pastoral letter on my other web site where I store bigger documents. In it, he takes the institutional high ground, and at times is almost eloquent in reminding the denomination that we have a mission to accomplish and we are only hurting ourselves and our mission if we get into a schism over lesbian/gay clergy.

For the record, the schism will proceed as previously scheduled. Hanson’s letter is not likely to convince anybody to change their mind. But the schism will be small—perhaps 100–200 congregations may bolt, out of a total of nearly 10,000 congregations.

But it still hurts when people we thought understood the Gospel as well as Lutherans do decide to say “we’re out of here,” like where Paul says, “the eye cannot say to the hand, `I have no need of you.’” (1 Corinthians 12:14–27)

Hanson reminds the church that Lutherans have always deftly distinguished Law and Gospel, what he says Martin Luther called “the highest art among Christians.” To make this important distinction and apply each appropriately is in fact nothing less than interpreting the Scriptures rather than shooting them from a gun at a social issue.

My turn: Hanson speaks in generalities, but I would have been a bit more specific, in reminding the whole church that heterosexuality is neither Law nor Gospel. The Christian Church long ago gave up trying to make “be fruitful and multiply” into a commandment that must be obeyed by all believers in Jesus. Heterosexual love, or sexual expression, or even reproduction, cannot be commandments, as Jesus and Paul both made clear.

But neither is heterosexuality Gospel. No one will be saved or redeemed or put on God’s right side by heterosexuality. No one earns a heavenly mansion by virtue of heterosexual behavior. We are saved by grace (Romans 3:23–24; Ephesians 2:4), regardless of Paul’s curious take on women being saved by bearing children. He even says, in 1 Corinthians 7:16, that a woman or man might save the unbelieving spouse —salvation by marriage?  But his broadest theme, over and over, is that we are saved by grace alone.  Sex, sexual orientation, sexual expression, are not part of the equation at all.

I have continued to say this wherever possible: the ELCA’s ~ or the Episcopal Church’s ~ action to open its doors and its ministry fully to LGBT people is not a departure from traditional or correct Christian doctrine because human sexuality, in all of its perplexing diversity, is not part of Christian doctrine. Christian doctrine is about Jesus Christ and what he has done. It is not about us and what we have done, whether sublime or perverse. No one, whether Jew or Greek, circumcised or uncircumcised, heterosexual or homosexual, “has a leg up” before God.

Yes, I know the conservative rant to the contrary. But it is a hopeless stretch to insist that any one or another specific sexual behavior is a sin which disqualifies one from God’s love – and yes, you can find Bible verses to attempt to so insist – because there are other Bible verses that blow that thesis away!  Jesus said “Anyone who comes to me I will never drive away” (John 6:37); and “Very truly, I tell you, whoever believes has eternal life” (John 6:47).  There is just no extra credit for being heterosexual.  There are millions of people of faith out there who are not heterosexual. They have come to Jesus and they believe in his message of hope and grace. Regardless of what a congregation or an entire churchbody may say, Jesus will not drive them away, but because they have put their faith in God’s grace through Jesus Christ, they have eternal life.

Moreover, since no one is without sin (Romans 3:23), no one, including no heterosexual has the right to cast the first stone.

No one has the right to judge.

No one.

Just say No, when homophobic people start to rant that they are now being driven out of the church. No, they are walking away all by themselves.  They are doing, or preparing to do, what millions of LGBT Christians have not done, even when our churches would not welcome us if we were open. We remained faithful to Christ and to his church. Now we rejoice that the ELCA is being faithful to us. If others cannot accept that, perhaps they never did understand the Gospel after all.

— Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Sex, Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Gay Catechism, "The Closet", Doctrine, Bible & Interpretation, Ministry, Faith, LGBT Christian, ELCA | Print | 1 Comment »

Out of the closet, out of the bottle.

August 8, 2009 by Dan Hooper.

Thank you to Billy Glover for forwarding the link to this. It is one of the wisest and most cogent arguments presented, not only sympathetic to same-gender marriage, but with serious a serious critique of the failure of opponents to offer anything meaningful. By the end of it, I found myself close to tears.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

A Moral Crossroads For Conservatives: The genie that gay-marriage opponents still hope to stuff back into the bottle is out for good.

by Jonathan Rauch • Saturday, Aug. 8, 2009

Last October, Bill Meezan, my cousin, left his home in Columbus, Ohio, for a business trip to Philadelphia. Bill is the dean of Ohio State University’s College of Social Work, and he travels quite a bit. In Philadelphia, he thought he felt an old cold coming back. Then he developed a nasty cough. On October 31, he went to the hospital.He remembers nothing of that day, but Mike Brittenback recalls sharply how doctors in Philadelphia called him in Columbus to say they suspected pneumonia. Mike, an organist and choirmaster, is Bill’s partner of 30 years. A few hours later that Friday, they called back to confirm the diagnosis. Mike was concerned but not alarmed.  At 3 a.m. the next day, the phone woke him up. It was a doctor in Philadelphia. Mike needed to come to Philadelphia immediately. Bill had gone into septic shock and might not survive more than a few hours. . . . National Review has a cover story this month by Maggie Gallagher, a prominent anti-gay-marriage activist, subtitled: “Why Gay Marriage Isn’t Inevitable.” She is right, in a sense. Most states explicitly ban same-sex marriage, often by constitutional amendment, and the country remains deeply divided. The national argument over marriage’s meaning will go on for years to come. 

In another sense, however, she is wrong. Never again will America not have gay marriage, and never again will less than a majority favor some kind of legal and social recognition for same-sex couples. The genie that gay-marriage opponents still hope to stuff back into the bottle is out and out for good.

Read the full article: http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/st_20090808_9125.php

Maggie Gallagher, by the way, is out to hurt us. While the referenced article above form the National Review is not on line, by another one with her muck-filled views, “Redefinition Revolution: Gay marriage is about more than Adam and Steve”, can be found here.

Posted in Lesbian/Gay Marriage, "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Public Affairs, Coming Out, Uncategorized | Print | No Comments »

Can you trust me?

June 24, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Tonight I was trying to finally connect a friend of a church friend with a friend of another church friend. One of them needs at home-care, and the other has done a lot of elder care. There are other issues, too, not the least of which is that the two women have not met each other. The elder needs to be able to trust this stranger she will pay to care for her in her own home. And trust is a big issue for elders, whether or not they realize it. All too often we read the horror stories of elders being taken advantage of, sometimes on the order of huge sums of money.

Trust is a major issue for lesbian/gay people, too. We have been taken advantage of, big time. Some of us have entrusted “our secret” only to have been outed by the person we thought was sensitive, honest, caring and could respect a confidence. Over and over, highly-placed people in the church, whether a local congregation, or the office of a bishop, have broken trust in a completely un-Christian way.

Is it any wonder that LGBT people don’t trust the church? Maybe it’s like hot gossip. We think that the sensationalism of some items of information somehow trump all other ethical considerations. In past generations, a broken confidence could be used to blackmail a homosexual. Nowadays its’ more like all over the internet, for free. But the damage to a life is still done, a confidence is betrayed, and trust is broken.

But it occurs to me that this is precisely where the power of coming out picks up its own momentum. When we are honest—completely honest—about ourselves, our lives, our sexuality, our relationships there is nothing else than an unethical person can do to hurt us. If everyone already knows I am gay, then my friends are my friends knowing I am gay, and those who cannot be my friend will just avoid me because I’m gay. At least they all know where I stand, who I really am, and whom to ask if they have honest questions. If I am completely honest, my honesty about my sexuality and life present an implied challenge—or even a demand—to everyone else that they be honest with me and about me. If it is widely known that I’m gay, it would be preposterous for others to spread rumors or try to use innuendo to hurt me because, well, everybody knows.

The high cost, and high danger, of not coming out, of not being completely honest about my life, is that telling only partial truths, or stretching the truth, or manufacturing pure fiction to fill in acceptable details (which is like painting over reality with a wide brush), will eventually reveal to others that I cannot be trusted.

In years past, many homosexuals simply split their lives down the middle, between day and night, and made sure that the two never intersected. They thought that they were extremely careful to cover their tracks, so that the decent people who knew them as decent people would never have reason to suspect that their public lives were only part of the story. They thought. No matter how well-intentioned, a lie is never perfect, and in its flaws and erosions over time, it damages trust. People might not suspect that I am gay, but they know for sure that I am evasive, ambiguous, distant, opaque where I should be open, present, and transparent. They will come to not trust me even if they’re not sure why.

But when I come out, the two parts of my life simply re-weave into one life. My sexuality, my friends, my whereabouts, what I did last weekend, my boyfriend, my partner for life are not dark secrets, not fiction, not sketchy, not a lie. And the people who can handle that (increasingly they are the majority of people) will trust me because by my honesty I have removed all the reasons not to trust me.

In effect, I am who I am: a gay man with a life partner (using myself as an example). Take it or leave it; take me or leave me. And if I have entrusted myself, my life, my reality to you, I expect you to be honest with me. If you support me in my quest for dignity, respect, self-esteem, equal rights and the grace of God, then stand with me. But be honest, because if you can’t support me, then say so up front so we can all get on with out lives.

I say all of this in a Christian context, because I think this basic kind of honesty and trust-building is fundamental to the Gospel. We say that we trust God’s word, and that means we rely on it without the background fear that God lis really Charlie Brown’s Lucy who will pull the football away (grace and love) at the last second, or the fear that there is a trick question on the final (the judgment day) which will erase our good grades and cause us to flunk.

Gay and lesbian Christians are truly/truthfully living on faith because we are entrusting to God the honesty of our lives in the confidence that God is being totally honest and trustworthy with us. If that isn’t faith I don’t know what is. Can we trust God? And if God is trustworthy, shouldn’t God’s people, the Church, be trustworthy also? Can we trust Christians to be who they say they are—disciples, not judges—? Can I trust you?

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Gay Catechism, "The Closet", Bible & Interpretation, LGBT Christian, Living by Grace, Faith, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Mr. Obama: Prove you are your Own man!

June 20, 2009 by Dan Hooper.

Gay Critics Say ‘Too Little, Too Late’ from Obama

By Kristi Keck, CNN |  Thursday, June 18, 2009  |  Story Highlights:

• White House officials: Obama favors full benefits, but legislation is needed
• Obama expands some benefits to same-sex partners, but not health care
• “Nice gesture, but a disappointment,” says Richard Kim, senior editor of The Nation
• Some critics show discontent by pulling out of DNC gay fundraising dinner

(CNN) – “President Obama’s decision to grant some benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees is seen by some as his attempt to extend an olive branch to the gay and lesbian community, but critics say it’s ‘too little, too late.’ .  .  .”

I can’t follow politics too closely (because it’s too painful), but this one has the feel of “deja vu all over again.” After an 8-year administration which essentially deplored gay and lesbian people, we had expected more from Obama, but this and other things are nudging me to admit that the Obama years will look like the Clinton years.

Admittedly, Mr. Obama has a huge amount of stuff to face. The nation and the world do not wait for him to catch up. But as we’ve seen for decades now, it is all too easy to say that, well, there are a lot more significant problems and issues facing our elected officials than whether homosexuals get to have their piece of the pie — benefits, equal treatment, same-sex marriage, you name it.

This statement from Martin Luther is worth repeating: “How soon not now becomes never.” Luther pursued urgency in the reform and renewal of the Church in the 16^th century. It resisted, and backed up its resistance with imperial power. For the rest of his lifetime, and then for several more centuries. How soon not now becomes never.

Why should any generation of people in the minority be told by the power-holding majority that the timing is not right, or that they will have to wait, or that the votes aren’t there.

In this case, DOMA—that Clinton-era legislative garbage— is the culprit. Yes, it would be very difficult for Mr. Obama to publicly say that DOMA has to go. But his administration should be working to get rid of it as soon as possible, or at the least finding covert ways to drag before the Supreme Court to blow it away.

“Defending” marriage by defending the majority’s rights to select benefits is blatant “entitlement” which conservatives have been ranting about for years. Why should heterosexual couples be “entitled” to live a decent life, including such basics as health and retirement benefits, which by statute cannot be available to those who are not heterosexuals or liars (in the closet).

The injustice is obvious. Not only is it time to correct the injustice, the Obama administration is the one which needs to correct it. The President sold “Hope” to America with the clear implication that his administration would not be Clinton’s third term. Now he has to prove it.

— Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Public Affairs | Print | No Comments »

War and Rules of Engagement.

June 3, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Last night, friends brought supper over (graciously still helping us both out since my spouse’s disastrous fall in early April in which he fractured seven vertebrae and two ribs). We got to talking about coming out as a result of my recent posts, and I mentioned the blog post/comment conversation about coming out in mid-life.

To which our friend Michael said, “How can you stay in [the closet]?” Probably the easiest answer to why people stay in their closets is the pain and fear of confrontation. And the “confrontation” is not necessarily external. Who was it that said that the biggest battles we ever fight are inside our own heads?

It set me thinking about some words I began writing years back and sort of refined two years ago, and these are about the external confrontation which we either engage or flee (or both). In part:

“If you are part of the gay/lesbian movement, and part of a Christian organization, you are likely caught in a love-hate relationship with the church (specifically of your own particular denomination). As you wrestle with what it means to be gay or lesbian and to be Christian at the same time, you are also wrestling with the Church as it struggles with what it means to have gay and lesbian people openly in its midst.

“Many of us become discouraged, angry, frustrated and defeated—at the same time we are energized, hopeful, joyful and committed. We have every right to feel both of these moods, and we can be subject to rapid mood swings. Our task is not easy. But we have taken up a cross and we follow. Let us not be grandiose. It is not our own crosses we have shouldered, but Christ’s cross, worthy to be carried, which should humble us as well as ennoble us.

“It’s not for everyone. For what it’s worth, a different metaphor could be more serviceable: we are doing battle, engaged in the very tough hand-to-hand combat of changing the church’s mind, in faith, about some very basic and important issues. “Onward, Christian soldiers!” It is the Cross leading us, moving out before us. But wait! We need some basic training —things we all need to know before we get into the thick of the battle, and some rules of engagement.

“Some people may find the confrontational or battle language here offensive and call it counter-productive. It is not used flippantly, however. The military metaphor may seem out of fashion, but if it ever had any usefulness, it fits here. We are not fighting people—brothers and sisters in the faith. We are fighting the very real demons who inhabit both church and world. We must see ourselves as we really are—a minority within an overwhelming majority, chicks caught in a shell that stubbornly will not break open. We are still emerging, being born, coming out, waking up from a millennium-long hibernation during which homophobia, oppression, and death have reigned.

“Confrontation is unavoidable, even though paranoia may not be justified. As certainly as for the people of the New Testament, there are strong and dangerous forces out there: powers, principalities, angels, demons. The worst mistake gay and lesbian Christians could do is to deny their existence, or to discount the centrality of struggle.

“But in preparation for battle, in the midst of confrontation, we must be certain of what those forces are, and who The Enemy is.”

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Doctrine, "The Closet", Ecumenical Issues, LGBT Christian, Coming Out, Faith, Ministry | Print | 1 Comment »

I thought you should know.

May 31, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I just had an interesting conversation this evening, at a Lutherans Concerned/Los Angeles reception/happy hour with a young woman enrolled in seminary. The subject we stayed on for a few minutes was “coming out.”

I don’t get around to this very often in this blog any more, even though I identified it two years ago as a subject worth blogging about —especially for Christians who are sometimes deeply conflicted about being lesbian/gay and Christian. Most of my conversations are with people who are already out, or at least partially out ~ somewhat open about their sexuality even if they’re selective about how they’ve shared it with. It kind of spooks me when I meet someone new who is only recently coming out to self or others. It’s hard to imagine any more that closeted people are still, well, in their closets. As time goes by, kids come out at earlier and earlier ages, so that a completely open gay boy of 13 or 14 is not unheard of. In contrast, when I was that age, it was homosexuality that seemed to be unheard of, and I was into my college years before I had the freedom and furtiveness to search the campus library for any information about it.

The young woman told me that she had come to her local Lutheran church directly from another church. She had been highly regarded there, apparently, and about to be elected or appointed as an officer of that congregation when (it sounded almost like an afterthought) she felt that full disclosure would be important. So she met with key people and said something like, “I just thought you should know,” that is, that she has a female partner of a number of years, etc.

They apparently didn’t take it well, hadn’t imagined it, and told her immediately that she couldn’t be an officer of their congregation, and in fact couldn’t even serve on a committee. But she could still come to church. That lasted about two weeks before she left and found a welcoming, LGBT-positive Lutheran church in the same neighborhood.

As in the church she left behind, there are hundreds—thousands of churches that still have closeted lesbian/gay members (some young, some not young at all) who must watch their backs and whose pastors and fellow parishioners probably don’t suspect they are lesbian, gay, etc. How can this be? I wonder if it happens because the self-righteous and un-welcoming churches must somehow assume that the general public has heard their zero-tolerance policy clearly enough not to attempt to come in or try to infiltrate. They must be shocked, shocked, to discover a Lesbian has sneaked past the gates. But what about the very young teenager who was born into a Christian congregation, only to discover their true inner sexuality 13 or 14 years later.

What was remarkable to me was that we had this conversation now, in 2009, rather than 1989 or 1979. Is this kind of secrecy/fear or rejection/exclusion really still going on in 2009?

You bet it is. The young woman reminded me of a Lutheran parish, I think in Minnesota, that after being a Reconciling in Christ (welcoming) congregation for a time, voted to bail out of the program: they actually decided to become unwelcoming. And to my mind the only reason that can still happen in this century is because the kids growing up there are afraid to come out.

How can I talk to kids, for example, who are14 or 15 years old about being Christian and lesbian or gay, or bisexual/transgender, etc., when they probably don’t know how to talk about it, or how to meet anybody like themselves to talk to? The internet of course—places like this blog—is a door that is wide open for kids who may be uncertain, intimidated, scared or, God forbid, already abused or severely punished because they tried to come out or to get truthful information.

Twenty years ago, Lutherans Concerned periodically sent out mailings to every Lutheran congregation in our region. Sometimes we included a simple poster, with our phone number in very big type.

665-LCLA

We imagined a scared kid who didn’t dare let on to anybody that s/he wanted to know more about being lesbian or gay. Maybe the secretary of the church would allow the poster to be put up on a bulletin board. And maybe these kids would see it, and without revealing even a nonchalant interest in it, could see the number from across the room and memorize the phone number.

Yes, we did get a few calls like that, but the young person on the other end of the phone line was too scared to give us a full name or an address to send more information or a monthly newsletter.

Enter the internet, and the information is all here and nobody has to give names at all if you don’t want to, and even a 14 year-old Christian kid knows how to surf the web and then delete your browsing history so other users of the computer won’t have a clue where you’ve been cruising. Of course, getting good information and advice on coming out doesn’t take away the frustrating, painful, risky work of actually coming out.

If you are that kid, remember: (1) God loves you as you are (2) don’t panic; (3) the love and truth of the Gospel is much bigger and more powerful than all the little narrow minds in your local church; (4) you’re only a teenager for a short time, so you will have greater and greater freedom to explore and express your real self as you grow; (5) Google for help, for answers, for advice and for trustworthy counsel (and I don’t mean Twitter or Craig’s List or chat rooms!); (6) if necessary, delete your browser’s history; (7) trust your own inner feelings and experiences because the Holy Spirit may be speaking to your heart and guiding you to do the right thing for your life.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in "The Closet", Gay Catechism, LGBT Christian, Coming Out, ELCA | Print | 1 Comment »

Break down the door before you suffocate!

May 23, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

 Two frogs are sitting in a pot half full of water on the stove. There are bubbles all around them. “You know, it just doesn’t get any better than this,” said the first one.

“What do you mean? Are you crazy?” said the other. “This water is getting hot. I think we should get outta here.”

“Why are you always so negative?” said the first. “It’s not boiling, after all. It’s only simmering.”

“I can’t believe it! I suppose now you’re going to tell me the pot is half full, not half empty.”

I read an interesting piece yesterday in Instinct magazine, which surprised me. It’s a pretty-boy fashion magazine that catches our eyes but seldom gets read.

Joel Perry’s article”Is There Still a Closet?” is a relatively sympathetic look at those (how few? how many?) sexual minority persons out there who are still hiding. His article is not edgy—he doesn’t contemplate anything as exotic as transgender politician or a bisexual bishop—but he talks about his friend Davis from small town North Carolina who still sings in the church choir and says, “You try not to live a lie; however, you have to cover your tacks well.”

Perry is probably more sympathetic than I might be. Maybe a transgender politician must hide, but a 42-year old medical assistant can get work almost anywhere. Why would he stay where he can’t breathe, can’t move, can’t live? Why would he try to hold his breath for a lifetime because there is no air in the closet? Or maybe in North Carolina?

Or is it that he just doesn’t know how to come out gracefully, or where to begin?

My friend, most of us didn’t start out to be radical activists. But there came a moment when we finally realized that the pain of inaction outweighed the risks of action.

The truth is that coming out is a multi-part test of one’s own inner integrity. You don’t come out only once, but many times to different audiences. The outcome of any of these will vary, depending on how well prepared you are, and what kind of people you trust with your integrity. It can be painful, and it can be relatively easy and enjoyable. depending on how each coming out event unfolds. Typically, my friends report that at least for some —family especially—they already know and were just waiting for them to talk about it.

Another important thing to remember is that the risk and pain are temporary. Once the coming out process is behind you, your life takes different turns. If doors slam shut, others will open. If some friends shun you, you will make other, more genuine friends. If you grow in the process of deciding you must breathe free, you may discover that other people are also able to grow and change their views and opinions. The family, friend or co-worker who is often overheard telling homophobic jokes may actually change his or her tune just because you were honest about yourself.

And the most important thing to remember, if you are a person of faith, is that God already knows your secret. The thunderbolt has not hit you, no matter how long you’ve been hiding your little secret, so many it’s time to reconsider how damning your sexuality really is. Could it be that God knows, and God still loves you? That the all-wise and omniscient God, the one who knows the heart, fully understands and does not condemn you? That grace outweighs condemnation, and love is more important than sin?

Could it be that you’ve been avoiding thinking about God for fear of the consequences, only to realize that God’s Spirit may be your best friend and advocate as you go through the coming out process?

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Gay Catechism, "The Closet", Homophobia, LGBT Christian, Living by Grace, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Vocation, integrity, born again.

May 20, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I had a brief conversation last night at a Love Honor Cherish event with Father Geoff Farrow, the courageous priest who came out last fall and was expelled from his parish because he would not, in conscience, echo the bishop’s order that the faithful all vote in favor of Proposition 8.

When is the right time to speak up, or to remain silent? This is one of the eternal questions of human integrity, and no matter what generation or century you live in, there are things over which some people will trip and fall headlong away from their own inner sense of who they are and what is important in life. Our culture doesn’t provide opportunities for people to lift up their own values, or speak about them easily. Our culture itself has little integrity left, when it comes to values (unless you count right-wing flag waving which I don’t).

Integrity is perhaps the tap root of genuine ministry as well, as Father Geoff fully knows. When we counsel people —and many times the counsel is quite informal, rather than scheduled and deliberate behind closed doors— what people are listening for in a priest or pastor is not necessarily the religious or doctrinal “party line.” They are listening for our integrity: to hear how we inwardly weigh and process the decisions that we all face as human beings in a dehumanizing culture.

Fr. Geoff mentioned those priests who left the ministry but never moved out of the rectory. Their genuine ministry ends when they loose their integrity. (Fr. Geoff had started packing up his personal effects in the rectory before he came out and spoke to the media about being gay.)

I had an opposite experience years ago. I was outed in my previous parish—but secretly so that the rumor was going around but nobody would tell me what they were being told. I was forced to resign over other petty complaints. So I left the professional ministry, the paycheck side of the equation, but was not finished with my inner sense of vocation or calling to be in ministry. So for many years I kept teaching, writing and preaching whenever I could while I worked in an ordinary office job.

From the day I left that parish, I determined I would never go back into the closet, even if I never went back into the professional Lutheran ministry. It was how I preserved my sense of integrity. And in the years since, I am convinced that coming out as a Lesbian/gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or whatever sexual minority and telling one’s story, is the most important thing we can do to preserve our sanity and integrity, and to change the world. In fact, in a society where personal integrity is not highly valued (we left countless politicians do as they please and weasel out of it any way they can just to get their names off the front page quickly), the one bright spot or the moral high ground for humanity and personal integrity is our movement to come out and tell our stories honestly even at high personal cost.

Without your integrity, said Father Geoff last night, “it’s like your death, on a lay-away plan.” Your humanity, your life, is being given up a little bit at a time. But coming out and choosing to have integrity, if you ask me, is kind of like being born again.

(Father Geoff blogs at www.FatherGeoff.com.)

—Pastor Dan Hooper

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