We are not criminals.

May 29, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

I know “criminals.” They are people who have been convicted of crimes. All of us break laws, but criminals are those who are caught.

I recently learned (where have I been?) what a RAP sheet is.  It is an acronym for Record of Arrests and Prosecutions. It is part of my continuing education about crime and justice, especially in light of our congregation’s emerging Mariposa Ministry, its outreach to prisoners and parolees. We have developed relationships with more than a dozen current and former inmates in California prisons. And this year we expect to help –spiritually and tangibly– at least three men who will be paroled in Los Angeles County.

So I know criminals. But what I also know is that many ordinary people, who break laws, are never arrested or prosecuted largely because of privilege or good luck. It is sad to admit that the world is not divided between “good” people and “bad” people, but between privileged and lucky people and under-privileged and un-lucky people.

Decades ago, when I was dating, it was still a crime for two persons of the same gender to have sexual relations. This was long before Lawrence v. Texas, and the sodomy laws in almost every state had the authority to put decent, upstanding people behind bars. I was one of the privileged and lucky ones. Knowing my gay brothers who are in prison, I realize I could have been in prison myself in the 1970s and 1980s, simply for being who I am.

But our entire world is still struggling to enlarge its understanding of human diversity and to stop using laws as a moral bludgeon to punish or destroy what it does not understand or does not want to see.

This spring, as we have watched the blunt force of African nations, specifically Uganda, trying to blame perceived social ills as a Western degradation, with a proposed death penalty for homosexual acts, I have been encouraged that sane voices have spoken up world-wide.  Thank God for the likes of Anglican Bishop and Nobel Peace Prize recipient Desmond Tutu for leading this fight in Africa (see: Desmond Tutu leads fight to halt anti-gay terror sweeping Africa.”

The battle is not over. But at least two gay men in Malawi have now been spared a near-certain death sentence (14 years of hard labor) for pledging their love to one another.  Their pardon came about, apparently, because of world moral pressure in the form of a meeting of the Malawian President Bingu wa Mutharika with U.N. Secretary General Ban Ki-moon.

The CNN story released today quotes the White House as saying that gay people are “not criminals and their struggle is not unique.”

We are still mid-struggle in America for LGBTQI rights, and one of the battles we fight is with other oppressed peoples (including but not limited to African-American people) who don’t want to bestow the honored label of “civil rights struggle” on our movement. All it would take, I know, for our Black brothers and sisters to stop being protective of their struggle is for more Black gay men and lesbians to come out to their families and their communities. African-American sexual minorities, who have very little to fear by way of criminal conviction in this country for their sexual orientation or gender identity, could put their faces on the world-wide struggle for dignity, purpose and freedom. I hope the example two brave gay men in Malawi, Steven Monjeza and Tiwonge Chimbalanga, will encourage them.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Ecumenical Issues, LGBT Rights, Public Affairs, Coming Out, Uncategorized | Print | No Comments »

Did you think you’d ever see the day?

March 17, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

When my parents were “getting up there,” fifty years ago the American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) was in its infancy, but it was obvious that among other things the organization was a national union for conservatives and elderly poor who wanted a better break on insurance. So when I hit the Big Five-Oh! and started getting membership invitations from AARP, I did what any boomer generation member would do: I shredded their mailing immediately.

Maybe it’s time to revisit that decision.

This morning’s Los Angeles Times had a prominent article on LGBT seniors and the efforts of mainstream advocacy organizations such as AARP to get our elders a better deal. See: “Medicaid and Social Security changes urged to help gay seniors.”

Of course I’m still not comfortable counting myself among them,but stay tuned.

In following the Times story, I was actually quite amazed at the links I found.

Did you ever think you’d see the AARP web site covered with stuff about Stonewall, gay, and faith? This entire page has stories and information on point.

The AARP web site: Did you ever think you would see the day?

With something like 40 million members, AARP is becoming one of the champions for equal rights for LGBT people because there are millions of us over 50. All the discrimination we’ve faced earlier in life is morphing into forms of elder discrimination. If you haven’t paid attention yet, it may be the time to start realizing how the lack of equal rights in this nation is going to hurt you big time as you age. If you’ve never been an activist for LGBT causes, your own aging may change you.

The Times writer mentions three issues as examples: Social Security and Medicare rules, survivor benefits, and making medical and end-of-life decisions for your partner. The SAGE report, which is being released today, also draws attention to another flashpoint issue in our society: “It calls on federal and state lawmakers to consider ways to legally recognize same-sex relationships so aging partners in a committed relationship can have access to the same support systems that benefit heterosexual seniors.”

I guess I never thought I’d live to see the day that senior citizens’ organizations would basically be calling for same-gender marriage rights. My hunch as to why it is happening is three-fold: boomers are becoming elders; older lesbian/gay people who were resistant to coming out earlier in life are gradually doing so as social acceptance of LGBT people continues to improve; and younger sexual minority persons who are coming out are more and more likely to come out to their entire family, including grandparents. So (heterosexual) elders who become sensitized and supportive of an LGBT grand child are also on the rise.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Links: AARP and gay seniors issues • Wisdom of the Elders • American Society on Aging • SAGE USA

Posted in "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Health, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Counting on both visibility and invisibility.

March 4, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

Diane Silver at 365Gay.com has a good perspective on the coming U.S. Census: “Get Counted! Why the Census is crucial to Gays.”

The article quotes Jaime Grant, the director of the Policy Institute of the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force.  “Without data, you have no community portrait, and without a portrait, you have no needs, you have no identity, you have no funding. The census has always had a civil rights component to it,” says Grant.

The LGBTQ community has its share of disagreements, and the Census is no exception. We know it can be to our advantage to be more visible. I remember paying attention ten years ago that our household could mark the form indicating we were unmarried partners, and still mark us both as being male.

Silver points out that the Census Bureau did not tabulate the data, beginning in 1990, which would have revealed a portrait of some of America’s lesbian/gay households. Outside entities, including the Policy Institute, dug out the story from the raw data.

Credo Action is pushing a campaign to “Queer the Census” and if you identify yourself to them, you get a free sticker (Wow!—bumper, or back-pack?). Their web site says they’ve given away 29,940 stickers so far.

So why doesn’t the Census Bureau gather more information about LGBTQ households? There are two obvious reasons. Silver only mentions one: Congress has control of the Census. Although it is mandated in the U.S. Constitution, what data are gathered every ten years is tightly controlled by law and therefore by politics. At present there is no plan to add questions to the 2020 form about gender identity, sexual orientation, etc.

But the other reason that data is not gathered nor processed is that LGBTQ people have an ambivalent attitude about being visible. We like being out and proud when it is cool or advantageous to be out and proud. But we also like to evade detection when that is advantageous. We are sometimes evasive about describing or naming our significant relationships, for example. We deflect questions or avoid situations where we might have to leave a paper trail (a legal trail) about our lives.

Much of this is closetedness, but it is not enough for all of us to prod each other to “come out” and be counted. As a community, we still have reason to be fearful to identify ourselves as lesbian/gay/etc., as individuals, if the present openness of our society could possibly turn more negative and punitive again.

And we’re aware that coming out is usually a multi-part process that has to go on for a long time: first to a few trusted friends, and maybe family, employer, neighbors. But in public records?

It is often said that none of us are free until we are all free, and so it can be argued that none of us can truly be “out” until we’re all “out.” But with the constant rants and manipulations of the Religious Reich and the well-funded social conservatives/reactionaries at all levels of politics, it could be dangerous if the social, legal and political reforms we’ve made since 1969 were reversed.

How do you go back into a closet, if there are documents in publicly records in which you’ve identified yourself as lesbian or gay or transgender?

Personally, I threw my hat in the ring for the liberalizing trend and permanent change decades ago, but it was not without misgivings. When I accepted the call (job offer) to serve my church as an openly gay/partnered Pastor, and the story hit the Associated Press and the internet, I knew there was no turning back.

But I am very aware that not everyone has moved in that same direction of being permanently and irrevocably out, at least at the same place. So the Census Bureau forms will probably not change to fully and completely include us and count us until the LGBTQ people in this nation are overwhelmingly ready to take all the risks in order to claim all the rights.

— Pastor Dan Hooper

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Your camouflaged life.

March 1, 2010 by Dan Hooper.

I thought this was pretty interesting.  Source:  e-mail from Billy Glover carries this story about an exhibit at the San Antonio Museum of Contempary Art.

How many of us thought we had some kind of camouflage on?  Have we worn it so long it has stained our skin?  Is emotional, spiritual, relational camouflage so long  been a part of our lives that we could no longer recognize our authentic selves?  I wonder if those of who have lived long periods of our lives with such camouflage have actually moved back and forth between “cover-up is fun” and “closet = despair.” — D.H.

Contemporary Art Month in March • by Gene Elder

The HAPPY Foundation celebrates CAM: March with this article about the history of camouflage and honors the memory of William Pahlmann, an internationally-known interior designer.

Pahlman was born December 12, 1900, grew up in San Antonio where he graduated from the old Main Avenue High School (now know as Fox Academic and Tech High School ) and then from the Parsons School of Design in New York City and Paris

Pahlmann embarked on his professional career as an interior designer moving into the position of chief executive of the interior design department and buyer of antique objects for Lord & Taylor. During the 1930s at Lord & Taylor, he launched his concept of model rooms to provide additional merchandise display and emphasize the value of advance planning of interiors. These distinguished model rooms achieved the reputation of art exhibitions and attracted an international following.

Pahlmann led the movement to integrate antiques into modern living arrangements and is considered the founder of the Eclectic School in Interior Design.

At the outbreak of World War II Pahlmann accepted a commission in the Army Air Force, where he served throughout the war in various duty posts, emerging as a Lieutenant Colonel. In one of his duty stations during the war he served as the director of camouflage school in St. Louis, Missouri, Jefferson Barracks, and in South Carolina. During this time he developed ideas about how to architecturally disguise locations by building false architectural exteriors. Netting and the patterns used on combat uniforms were also redesigned for modern warfare.

The camouflage design that we know and love today is attributed to William Pahlmann. Each terrain required a different design. It does seem logical that camouflage would come naturally to a gay designer since we know that growing up in a straight world we have all had to camouflage our gayness.

Pahlmann made many important contributions to the military and to the advancement of camouflage as a talented designer. It is important to note that during this CAM:March after listening to the military’s reasons for resisting the lifting of the ban on gays and lesbians that something as fundamental and as popular as the camouflage design we see today on our military personnel owes its success to a gay San Antonio designer who served in the military.

After the war Pahlmann worked as the Interior Design and Decoration Editor for Harper’s Bazaar and contributed to the syndicated column “A Matter Of Taste.” He then formed William Pahlmann Associates in New York City, which he headed until his retirement in 1977.

Throughout Pahlmann’s career he received numerous awards and citations for excellence in design. He was made a Fellow of the American Society of Interior Designers and was honored with the prestigious Elsie de Wolfe Award. In 1979 he received the Designer of Distinction Award for lifetime achievement.

Interiors of many of the best known stores and hotels in the country were designed by Pahlmann. He not only designed the exhibition rooms for Lord & Taylor but also interiors for Bonwit Teller; for the Matchabelli Crown Room; for the Henry Morgan Company Ltd; the overseas Press Club; and private homes in the United States, Canada, Cuba, and the Dominican Republic.

The list also includes the interiors of the Lombardy Hotel, the Ziegfield Theatre, the Carnival Room of the Sherry-Netherlands Hotel the Billy Rose home, the John Wanamaker Cross Country Store, and Students Activities Building at the University of South Carolina. Seven buildings at Texas A&M have interiors designed by him and the Pahlmann Research Library where he left his books, is in the A&M Architectural School.

Pahlmann originated many widely popular innovations such as the over -scaled cocktail table, the double and triple chest, the double headboard and mobile furniture on rubber-tired casters. His “Hastings Square” contemporary furniture is sold all over the country. He has also designed fabrics, carpets, bedspreads, and served as president and chairmen of the board of the New York Chapter of the American Institute of Decorators.

Pahlmann wrote the William Pahlmann Book of Interior Design and his papers and journals were left to the The Henry Francis du Pont Winterthur Museum in Winterthur, Delaware. In Pahlmann’s book about interior design, he covers all the rooms—the Living Room, Dining Room, Living-Dining Room, Library, Study, Den, Master Bedroom, Children’s Bedroom, Guest Room, Foyer, Power Room and Bathroom, the Kitchen, Porch, the Patio, and Terrace … even the ceilings, walls, floors, and windows.

Everything is discussed but The Closet. How did one decorate the closet in the 30s, 40s, and 50s? Why of course, you very smartly camouflaged it so that no one would know it was there.

Pahlmann died at the age of 86, November 8, 1987, in Guadalajara, Mexico. He always maintained a residence on the San Antonio River, near the Alamo, as well as home in New York City and Mexico. He was survived by his long-time partner of 30 years Jack Conners.

Gene Elder is an arts activist and the Archives Director for the HAPPY Foundation.

Posted in Go figure!, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

We’re here, we’re queer, we’re Christian.

February 27, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

Further to my recent post on the “core” of the faith and those congregations voting to leave the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the March 2010 issue of the Lutheran magazine has one entire News page devoted to this mess. From this source, a box with a fraying rope picture reports:

Congregations vote to leaveTwenty-eight of the ELCA’s some 10,200 congregations passed a second and final vote to leave the denomination as of Feb. 4.  The Office of the Secretary also reported an additional 128 passed a first vote, while first votes in 64 congregations failed.  In four congregations the votes are being disputed.  Nineteen of the ELCA’s 65 synods had no congregations taking votes.Synods with the most congregations taking votes were: Montana (17), Southwestern Texas (12), East-Central Synod of Wisconsin (11), Southeastern (11), Pacifica (10) [Orange County, California, etc.] and Eastern Washington-Idaho (10).”The Lutheran magazine is trying to be even-handed and journalistically professional. At least they’re reporting this, rather than hiding or ignoring the conflict.  On the same page, other news briefs indicate that some congregations that had been withholding benevolence money from the denomination over the pro-LGBT vote last August have now decided to begin donating it again.  The news also reports on an Iowa congregation that is disputing with its bishop over the exact count of a 2/3 vote of voting members needed to leave the denomination.  And meanwhile the Northeastern Iowa Synod Council has rescinded two very anti-gay resolutions it had previously adopted.  Iowa, you will remember, has legal same-sex marriage, so it’s an issue that is closer to home than the streets of San Francisco.  But such turmoil! trouble! disagreement! 

And, we are the people who started all this?  Well, hardly.  No.  We refuse to take responsibility for homophobic reactions to our lives.  We are LGBT Christians, in the midst of the larger church, who decided to claim our integrity as well as our inborn sexuality.  We decided to be honest, to tell our church that we are here and that we have faith and that we want to fully participate in the community’s life of faith with honesty. All the turmoil is not coming from us, but from the people who can’t handle the truth. When they are prodded to handle the truth, some of them want to flee from the church, and want to believe they are being driven out.  Hey, we could write the manual on what it feels like to be driven out, and guess what?  We didn’t leave.  We are the people of faith who didn’t cave in or go away when we felt unwelcome because we knew the truth that God welcomes, God includes, God blesses, and God heals.

I know there are thousands—millions—of people raised in the Church of Christ who came to terms with their sexuality and no longer have anything to do with any church.  Some are deeply scarred and have rejected all religion, all Christian spirituality.  Others long to come home, but they are not about to come home unless it is safe to do so.  They need assurance they will not get beat up again.

Watching the ELCA come to terms with its lesbian and gay clergy is kind of like watching a family come to terms with a lesbian daughter or a gay nephew.  You want to walk away—quickly—but it’s your family, and something deeply rooted in you believes that, because you know your family, they will eventually come around.  It’s still painful watching them argue with each other, and bring up their wildly irrational fears and complaints, but after awhile, all the emotion sort of drains out of it, and they are still the same people we’ve lived with our whole lives.  They’ll get over it and life will go on.

All I can do is commend these people, this church, and this process, to the all-embracing arms of God.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in LGBT Christian, Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Faith, Public Affairs, Ministry, Coming Out, ELCA | Print | No Comments »

For the love of God, no violence!

February 12, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

Today is the second anniversary of the death of 15-year old Lawrence King, in Ventura, California, at the hand of a 14-year old classmate (see: “Who should be on trial? and Another senseless murder of a child.).

Thanks to GLAAD for urging everyone to remember his death and highlighting this sad fact of American life — gun violence is OK when used against sexual minorities, abortion doctors, or total strangers who crowd your lane on an L.A. freeway, etc.

I don’t know what saddens me more: the news stories of people who wrap themselves in the Christian Bible toting guns, or the news stories of gay or lesbian people committing acts of violence against their lovers, etc. All of us—gay or straight, this or that or any category you can mention—all of us have got to stop the cycle of violence that is in America. And the place to begin is to cry out loud when anyone tries to equate any act of violence with faith in God. 

If you think I exaggerate, just click around you.

—Pastor Dan

Posted in Violence, Homophobia, History, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

The bridge between faith and rights.

February 5, 2010 by Pastor Dan.

Full disclosure: this column is not about Sarah Palin or any other bridge to nowhere that politicians may have built.

Some of us who have been active in the LGBT rights movement for a long time can remember when activist organizations competed viciously against one another, or were torn apart internally because of strident competition between gay men and lesbians. Worse still, there seemed to be this unbridgeable chasm between civil and political activism and the world of faith and religion. No one built a bridge nor even wanted a bridge between them.

I have lived a significant period of my life with a split personality — keeping the “Christian self” apart from the “gay self”; I avoided situations where I would have to come out as gay to a Christian community or as Christian in the LGBT communities. There was something unspoken in me–in many of us–that believed these two distinct selves would never communicate.

It was not altogether accurate, however, and also not true to my faith to suppose that I could not be honest in both communities. As I have matured in faith, I am far less insecure in telling other LGBT people that I am not only a Christian, but a pastor of a Christian congregation.

In recent years we’ve begun to see much more cross-over between LGBT activism in the public/civil/political realm and the faith/spirituality/religion realm. It has probably come about because of another “tipping point” in social change when both camps realized how much we need one another. Case in point, the outcry from the religious communities of America against the evil and draconian legislation proposed in Uganda to annihilate all homosexuals. (For Christ’s sake, even our traditional enemies at Focus on the Family have spoken against it!)

Both the Human Rights Campaign and the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force have reached out especially to the LGBT/Christian movement for one clear and compelling reason: it is obvious that Christian extremism on the right (the Religious Reich) is the biggest single obstacle in America to LGBT people achieving the full and equal rights and benefits of a democratic society.

From the HRC Religion & Faith web site: “The Human Rights Campaign Religion and Faith Program mobilizes people of faith to advocate for gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people. Learn more about HRC’s Religion and Faith Program and about the members of its Religion Council.” the site includes news, articles and resources.

The Revs. Eger, Robinson, Russell and Voelkel

HRC’s Religion Council of 13 significant faith leaders include two from the Los Angeles area: Rabbi Denise Eger, who for 18 years has served as the Rabbi of Congregation Kol Ami in West Hollywood, and Rev. Canon Susan Russell, who is Senior Associate for Pastoral Life at All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena. Both are extremely strong leaders in our environment; both continue to play important roles nationwide, as does Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire.

Under the leadership of Harry Knox, HRC’s Religion and Faith Program has been issuing weekly preaching helps for ministers of welcoming Christian churches to proclaim the full breadth of each week’s Common Lectionary readings.

The Task Force keeps a “Faith” tab on its web menu, and hosts the Institute for Welcoming Resources and the interfaith National Religious Leadership Roundtable. I especially commend the brief “article of faith” by Rev. Rebecca Voelkel, “Why the pro-LGBT movement should welcome religion“, which this blog entry echoes:

“As LGBT religious folks, we often find ourselves in the midst of a squeeze-play between our religious communities and our colleagues in the secular LGBT movement. But, I believe that we, as LGBT religious folks, have a unique and powerful role to play.”In particular, our movement, as it engages our opponents who are overwhelmingly religious, must claim the theological and moral authority of our pro-LGBT voice….”Voelkel, an ordained minister in the United Church of Christ, is also on the HRC’s Religion Council and serves as Director of the Task Force’s Institute for Welcoming Resources, representing the open/welcoming/affirming/reconciling religious caucuses and movements in faith traditions. There is a wealth of resources on this site.This blog often keeps watch on the weirdos, but we need to keep watch with those strong people of faith who are moving us forward. I hope you will explore these links and plug in wherever is appropriate for you.—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in LGBT Christian, Ecumenical Issues, "The Closet", Faith, History, Coming Out, Public Affairs, Ministry | Print | No Comments »

Tell Minnesota about your life and faith.

November 25, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

My friend Steve just tipped me off to an informal survey which Minnesota Public Radio is conducting about reactions to the ELCA’s August 2009 decision to allow same-gender-partnered clergy in its ranks. In recent days more than a thousand people have expressed their opinion to MPR’s Public Insight Network. Here is how the network summarizes it:

“Of the people who wrote to us, most said they haven’t considered leaving the church over the ELCA’s stance allowing people in committed same-gender relationships to be pastors. In fact, many were concerned that we are giving too much attention to those who want to leave, rather than focusing on the story that most individuals and churches plan to stay with the ELCA. Some wrote to say that this change will bring them back to the church, or keep them from leaving.”

Here is the link to add your name and commentary. Or click on the graphic.

Of the 1,100 people who have written responses, MPR says that 150 are clergy (15%). So I decided to add my “two cents” to their survey:

“I am one who never left the church, not during college years, not even when I came out as a gay man. In seminary, I was deeply conflicted until I gained the spiritual maturity to see that the Gospel was speaking to me with the good news that it is not my achievements nor my self-denial which earned me God’s favor. It is pure grace.

“I began to serve the Church as an ordained pastor–at first closeted, over time less closeted, more outspoken. When the church pushed me off its clergy roster in 1991 I remained faithful anyway. In 2004 I was called back to ministry, by a courageous Lutheran congregation willing to ignore the rules, and specifically to do outreach with gay and lesbian people. I remain in ministry with Hollywood Lutheran Church in an increasingly diverse local community. We are grieved that other powerful and fearful churches threaten to pull out of the ELCA (God bless them wherever they come to rest). As for me and our parish, we continue to give thanks to God for courage, compassion, and open-hearted ministry wherever it springs up. And we believe the Holy Spirit speaks to all through these things.”

Obviously I could say a lot more. This is probably the most condensed form (in 200 words) I have ever told my story and explained my faith.

The hardest to explain briefly is my growing confidence that what has happened in the ELCA, over the last number of years which reached its dramatic conclusion last August, powerfully illustrates the work of the Spirit among us as we try to arrive at truth. It is not the absence of 100 or so congregations which are voting to exit, or the larger number of those congregations who are retaliating against the ELCA by withholding funds, which will change the course of the church to follow Christ more closely. It is the growing number of congregations, pastors and individuals who act courageously, pray fervently, offer hospitality to LGBT people and reserve judgment, and gradually come to see their role in the larger ministry of grace and healing which the whole Christian Church has been given. Regardless of threats of schism, we absolutely must use the courage God gave us to do what is right, continue ministry, speak honestly and lovingly, and not hide in closets of fear or uncertainty.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in Faith, LGBT Christian, "The Closet", Living by Grace, Public Affairs, Ministry, Coming Out, ELCA | Print | No Comments »

Get on with repeal or ditch the constitution!

October 30, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Three cheers to Roland Stringfellow’s blog on Unite the Fight’s web site.

Here we are a year later and where do we find ourselves in the fight for marriage equality in California? Two major camps debating on whether to return to the ballot in 2010 or 2012 and we have to ask ourselves the question, “Have we learned from our mistakes?” Are egos and attitudes being altered in order for power to be shared and different voices heard? Has a clear strategy been created and presented? And what about our motivation – are we still angry and humiliated from our loss a year ago that we are planning to return to the polls with revenge? (”I’ll show you who is a second class citizen.”)

Stringfellow writes on behalf of the faith communities in California who are organizing to overturn Proposition 8.

There are many wonderful, hard working individuals who are putting their hearts on the line as they strive to make our world a more accepting and loving place for LGBTQI people and to make marriage equality a reality for us all. If our goal is to repair the divisions that exist in our society as we work for equality, we must examine and ask ourselves, “Do divisions exist within our movement for equality”?I agree with his view that we ought not to be divided over the 2010 vs. 2012 issue. It is an absurd dissipation of energies, and the supposed merits of each idea (get on the next ballot at all costs, or get on the presidential ballot when more liberals turn out) are probably stirred with personality issues that bubble over behind closed doors–even in the LGBT communities.Unfortunately, well-intended internal battles are part of human nature. You may have read or heard that another proposal is out there to completely revamp or replace the California Constitution, which would of course blow away the Proposition 8 language now enshrined by amendment.But even in this, there is division. Repair California is interested in “incremental change”, and filed ballot language yesterday for a measure that would call a limited Constitutional Convention (see press release; ballot language; fact sheet). Meanwhile, California Forward (www.caforward.org) has a different agenda: “fundamental change.” The two groups talk to one another, which is hopeful that there won’t be unnecessary intra-agenda fighting. But what worries me is that Repair California says it won’t touch our issue. What does that mean?

Mark Carlson in the Lutheran Office of Public Policy in Sacramento stated in an e-mail yesterday, “Jim Wunderman, the leader of Repair California, emphasized that the convention would not deal with marriage, abortion, gun control, or prayer in the schools” [italics added]. But the lunatic cesspools of power and money which seek to control those very things have to be drained of their toxic influence. But California Forward, so far, only addresses “fundamental change” in the area of money and budget, not civil rights.

It is all too clear that California is still ruled by several lunatic fringes. Yes, I know, the Religious Reich characterizes us that same way, but we know the truth. And we demonstrate our sanity every time one more of us comes out and tells the truth about our authentic selves, our lives, and our family relationships. Coming out remains the single most powerful tool we have for defeating conservative extremism. It is they who are on the lunatic fringes, because in addition to barrels of cash, they rely on lies, stereotypes fear and paranoia to push their anti-LGBT agenda.

Hopefully, we in the LGBT communities will be energized by what happens at next week’s polls. If marriage equality is set back further by the vote on Question 1 in Maine, for example, it may kick us into taking the reactionary lunatics far more seriously. It has, after all, come to light that the same money bags which financed Proposition 8 are pouring more of their cash into the Main steal-our-rights campaign. On the other hand, if the move to repeal Maine’s marriage rights law fails, it may energize us to claim our self-respect and go back at reversing the damage done by Proposition 8.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Also see: Equality Events; includes Rachel Maddow coverage of Question 1 and interview’s Maine’s Catholic Pro-Marriage Governor (9 minutes).

Posted in Catholic matters, "The Closet", Lesbian/Gay Marriage, LGBT Rights, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

“Shut up” becomes open wide, oh my.

August 27, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Now Jericho was shut up inside and out because of the Israelites; no one came out and no one went in. • The LORD said to Joshua, “See, I have handed Jericho over to you, along with its king and soldiers. • You shall march around the city, all the warriors circling the city once. Thus you shall do for six days, • with seven priests bearing seven trumpets of rams’ horns before the ark. On the seventh day you shall march around the city seven times, the priests blowing the trumpets. • When they make a long blast with the ram’s horn, as soon as you hear the sound of the trumpet, then all the people shall shout with a great shout; and the wall of the city will fall down flat, and all the people shall charge straight ahead.” — Joshua 6:1–5

This week is a milestone of sorts. Tuesday I observed, with very mixed feelings, the 35^th anniversary of my ordination into the Lutheran ministry. In 1974 it was unimaginable how my life would unfold. In 2009 it is almost unimaginable how different that world was, and what happened in those years.

If anyone then had tried to predict that by now I would be happily married and my man would be standing by me to cut the cake—openly, in front of a supportive Lutheran congregation—I would not have believed it.

I certainly would have hoped so, thinking then with youthful naivete that our generation was going to change the world. We set out to do so, of course. But looking back over three and a half decades, it is obvious that our generation also tried to stop change. Idealism, pragmatism, and inertia belong to all generations.

Yet the biggest surprise came in the last week before this personal anniversary. With the ELCA’s decision to lift its outright ban against lesbian/gay clergy, the wall of resistance has simply collapsed. Goodsoil and the cooperative GLBT-positive movements which have circled the ELCA since 1988 have sent up a great short, the wall has fallen down flat, and now . .. do we charge straight ahead? Is it our next goal to enter, pillage, rape and destroy?

For 35 years I have heard the outcry of reactionary and homophobic Christians, seen their hand-wringing, and worked behind the scenes to chip mortar out of the wall of their resistance. They are still of the mind (people like Solid Rock, CORE, Word Alone, etc.) that our purpose is to destroy the faith itself.

Nothing could be more wrong. If we (myself included) had wanted to destroy the Lutheran church or the Christian church, we could have done that more easily the way millions of others have done: as soon as you’re old enough that your parents don’t make you go to Sunday School and church, you run for the nearest exit and don’t look back. If we had wanted to destroy our “Christian society,” we wouldn’t need to go through the trauma and drama of being lesbian or gay. We could have just gotten married and raised the next generation of kids with no values whatever. Church and society can be destroyed with indifference, and anomie.

To be honest, the illustration from Joshua is not totally on target, for the LGBT people who have now succeeded, with the Lord’s power, in flattening a wall of resistance, have done it from within—by marching around and around inside the walls. We are not outsiders clamoring to get in. We are insiders—from infancy, childhood, baptism, confirmation, youth groups on—who did not exit, did not run, but stayed in this church, “shut up inside and out” because we have heard the Gospel’s truth and sensed the power of God even in this buttoned-down institution.

—Pastor Dan Hooper

Posted in LGBT Christian, Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Living by Grace, Coming Out, Ministry, ELCA | Print | No Comments »

Perception and deception, hype and hypocrisy.

August 12, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Flipping through some papers I had saved from months ago, I came across a “Naked City” column by Christopher Lisotta from Frontiers Newsmagazine last January—an interview with publicist Howard Bragman, who recently wrote the book on P.R., “Where’s My Fifteen Minutes?”. There was an interesting comment:

Frontiers: “You write PR no longer means “public relations.” What does PR mean?”

Bragman: “PR stands for the concepts of perception and reality. We live in a society where perception has become more important than reality.”

No kidding? But never mind the fact that the advertising and P.R. industry has made this true. We are a nation of plastic, imitation, phoney, lights and mirrors, “truthiness.” I once read the fine print on a 0 calories soft drink can, and it admitted to “artificial imitation flavors” on the ingredients list. Not just imitation flavors, but artificial imitation flavors. How much more phoney could you want? How American!

It is true that “perception” and “reality” are the defining elements in a public world made transparent by Google, Twitter, Facebook, and IP addresses.

When it comes to LGBT people, the reality of our lives still doesn’t really matter to the public. Their perception is that we are weird, sex-crazed, pleasure-loving creatures with no ethics but huge wads of discretionary income. We are muscle-bound girlie men –both gays and lesbians. We all carry the AIDS virus, we hate heterosexual marriage, we all molest children and we are bringing God’s judgment down on America, a nation of “fag enablers.”

That’s the stereotype. That’s the perception. Never mind that we work and pay taxes, that we make decent (and tasteful) homes, raise the best kids, volunteer for everything and donate to all kinds of causes; that we serve our nation both in uniform and in every kind of job and profession. Never mind that we are often care-givers for the elderly and those with HIV.

And never mind that millions of us go to church, for God’s sake. (If it weren’t for gay organists, choir directors and florists, the church would be a dreary and silent box of self-righteous people.)

But the perception is that we shake our naked boobs and butts on pride parade floats, and secretly want to sodomize our neighbor’s pre-teen children.

So how do we change the public’s idiotic perception and derail the lying machine which cranks out hateful speech and packages it as truth? In my view, probably not by hiring P.R. firms. They did that the fight Proposition 8 a year ago, and gay/lesbian coupledom was so sanitized for the public that we ceased to exist.

The best thing any of us can do is to come out—because unlike Hollywood’s movie stars and publicity seekers, we won’t get photos in People magazine. Most of us just come out to friends, families and close neighbors. Since the already know us, we have enormous influence over their perception of other lesbian/gay people and will actually change their perception by bringing it into line with the reality of what they know in our lives.

Bragman talks about clients who come to his firm because they believe their reality is better than the public perception, so they want to improve the perception. There is, in my words, a perception deficit which good publicity and solid integrity can correct.

Not so with “truthiness,” a word minted by friends of the Bush administration. All something needs is the “look and feel” of truth whether or not it is true. In short, public perception is more important than deception of the public. This month’s Advocate, for example, questions whether the LGBT community has been deceived by the Obama administration. Our perception before last November was that he was our hope for solid, systemic change. But have we been deceived, because we’re now seven months into Obama’s 48 months and we have nothing to show for it: not DOMA, not the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, and only a gutted Hate Crimes legislation. Of course, Congress is only concerned with the public’s perception, not with systemic change, not with a new reality.

What about people who have a public perception which is better than the reality? You mean like many heterosexuals? Like family values? Bragman calls this “hype.” Like anybody or anything that claims to be the biggest, best, hottest, or most important in the world, for example. Like everybody on Facebook or in those chat rooms and personals.

Frontiers: “What was your perspective as a PR guy on the No on 8 campaign?”

Bragman: “My number one mantra in PR is if you do not define yourself somebody else is going to define you. And you’re not going to be as happy about them defining you as you are about defining yourself. So I think we committed the PR sin of letting our opponents define us. . . ”

My take on being Christian, of course, is that Jesus used to have good PR, good perception. But many of his followers, who puffed themselves up on hype (I would call it hyp-ocrisy), their reality has nearly destroyed his perception by the public.

And my take on being LGBT/Christian is that since countless other (heterosexual) Christians don’t worry too much about integrity and truth (they tell facile lies about us with no qualms), or bringing disgrace on the name of Jesus (think televangelists), it may well be up to us to restore the public perception of what a follower of Jesus Christ is like with traits like: honesty (come out), integrity (not a patchwork, but made of whole cloth), generosity, sacrifice, and the readiness to “turn the other cheek” to false perceptions. For example, Matthew 5:11 from the Beatitudes: “Blessed are you when people revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.” In other words, walk the walk, don’t just talk the talk.

— Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Sex, Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Homophobia, HIV and AIDS, Hollywood, Public Affairs, LGBT Rights, LGBT Christian, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Out of the closet, out of the bottle.

August 8, 2009 by Dan Hooper.

Thank you to Billy Glover for forwarding the link to this. It is one of the wisest and most cogent arguments presented, not only sympathetic to same-gender marriage, but with serious a serious critique of the failure of opponents to offer anything meaningful. By the end of it, I found myself close to tears.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

A Moral Crossroads For Conservatives: The genie that gay-marriage opponents still hope to stuff back into the bottle is out for good.

by Jonathan Rauch • Saturday, Aug. 8, 2009

Last October, Bill Meezan, my cousin, left his home in Columbus, Ohio, for a business trip to Philadelphia. Bill is the dean of Ohio State University’s College of Social Work, and he travels quite a bit. In Philadelphia, he thought he felt an old cold coming back. Then he developed a nasty cough. On October 31, he went to the hospital.He remembers nothing of that day, but Mike Brittenback recalls sharply how doctors in Philadelphia called him in Columbus to say they suspected pneumonia. Mike, an organist and choirmaster, is Bill’s partner of 30 years. A few hours later that Friday, they called back to confirm the diagnosis. Mike was concerned but not alarmed.  At 3 a.m. the next day, the phone woke him up. It was a doctor in Philadelphia. Mike needed to come to Philadelphia immediately. Bill had gone into septic shock and might not survive more than a few hours. . . . National Review has a cover story this month by Maggie Gallagher, a prominent anti-gay-marriage activist, subtitled: “Why Gay Marriage Isn’t Inevitable.” She is right, in a sense. Most states explicitly ban same-sex marriage, often by constitutional amendment, and the country remains deeply divided. The national argument over marriage’s meaning will go on for years to come. 

In another sense, however, she is wrong. Never again will America not have gay marriage, and never again will less than a majority favor some kind of legal and social recognition for same-sex couples. The genie that gay-marriage opponents still hope to stuff back into the bottle is out and out for good.

Read the full article: http://www.nationaljournal.com/njmagazine/st_20090808_9125.php

Maggie Gallagher, by the way, is out to hurt us. While the referenced article above form the National Review is not on line, by another one with her muck-filled views, “Redefinition Revolution: Gay marriage is about more than Adam and Steve”, can be found here.

Posted in Lesbian/Gay Marriage, "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Public Affairs, Coming Out, Uncategorized | Print | No Comments »

They call them adolescents for a reason.

August 7, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

“Among teens, who’s gay is less clear than in past” — USA Today August 7, 2009

“TORONTO — Who’s gay and who’s not is less clear than it used to be among today’s young people — and that’s complicating how researchers conduct studies on the sexual behavior of teens and young adults, a developmental psychologist who studies gays, lesbians, and bisexuals told a session today at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association here.”

Well, yes, but what it means to be adolescent is also less clear than in the past, and adolescence has never been the time of life for clarity.  I remember being 15 at a time when I, and most every body else I knew, were sort of sullen and non-communicative, at least around adults, even if we were brash, wacky and highly verbal when running in our own packs.  The generation gap is hardest to bridge with teens because teens don’t want to bridge it.  They have good reason to be wary of adult motives in prying into their inner lives.

And adolescent feelings are about as firm as Jell-O.  They can be squished, mashed and remolded easily by the press of peer pressure, and may or may not return to their original shape.

“In his presentation, Savin-Williams [Ritch Savin-Williams of Cornell University in Ithaca, N.Y., a clinical psychologist] cited several studies on the way teens categorize their sexual preferences and behavior, to illustrate the difficulties researchers have in studying adolescent sexuality. Some describe themselves as ‘mostly heterosexual.’”

Knowing whether one is lesbian/gay may not be easily identified by anyone who is trying to surf the waves of pop culture, 21st century America, adolescence, endless war, 24/7 communications, global shortages and an economy that continues to circle the drain.  We are a nation of people who don’t want to commit—and self-revelati0n takes a form of commitment, is it not?  The only thing that forces young adults to be less fluid and more self-revealing about their sexual behavior is if it somehow gets entangled with love. 

Why bother to identify as LGBT or heterosexual if I have no particular love object? As we used to say about homosexuals two generations ago, you can always excuse your sexual behavior:   “Jesus I must have been really drunk last night.”  But when you actually (intended or not) fall in love with someone of your own gender, it is almost impossible not to admit to yourself or at least one or two friends that yes, you are queer. 

Peer pressure forces many teens to conform to their social group’s expectations.  If you think of our entire culture as also another social group, perhaps today’s adolescents are trying to read the tea leaves in America to see whether it is safe to come out or to self-disclosure a sexual orientation.  After all, we have people ranting and screaming out there on both extremes about human sexuality and homosexuality.  Which one will win when the dust has settled?  If the striaghts win the culture war, then maybe I better say I’m mostly heterosexual, or if I’m courageous I might say that I don’t like labels and don’t want to be labeled.  Or if the LGBTQ people are winning the culture war, I can gradually push my closet door further open.  Are today’s adolescents uncertain of themselves or just evasive?

Adolescence is just too unstable and fluid by almost every other measure as well as sexuality.  So these findings do not contribute a lot to the “nature vs. nurture” arguments about the “cause” of homosexualty.  Today’s kids, like the generations before them, are clueless about what they want to do/be when the grow up and nearly everything else because, … they are adolescents.

“Savin-Williams, who has written several books on adolescent development, including the 2005 book, The New Gay Teenager, says he’s in the midst of work to find out more about those who are particularly vulnerable.”

I’m not familiar with this book, but it be worth a look. Has anybody out there read it?

— Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Sex, History, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Who should be on trial?

July 23, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I am really angry all over again as Brandon McInerney is on trial for the murder of Lawrence King. Brandon is charged with shooting King at point blank range twice in the back of his head in their eighth grade English class on February 12, 2008.

McInerney’s defense is sexual harassment, because King apparently had a crush on the younger McInerney.

What has made the headlines recently is that McInerney, who was 14 at the time he allegedly shot the 15 year-old King, is that the accused killer is being tried as an adult. To me, trying him under the rules of adult courts is irrelevant and of course will only elicit a spectrum of views about the juvenile justice system. What angers me is that when a juvenile is accused of such a gross capital offense, it is really his parents who should be on trial. And our so-called justice system makes no provision for literally holding the parents of a minor responsible for the criminal behavior of their child.

In the Los Angeles Times article in Tuesday’s paper, it is revealed that the 14 year-old was handling a .22 caliber revolver. Where did he get it?

“Another witness testified that the detectives found a cache of weapons in an unlocked closet at McInerney’s home.

“The weapons reportedly belonged to his grandfather, William McInerney Sr.

“Ammunition, an instructional DVD called ‘Shooting in Realistic Environments’ [available used from Amazon for as little as $6.25!] and drawings of swastikas were found in a bedroom that the defendant shared with an older brother stationed in Iraq, investigators said.”

If this evidence is true, the family and the household environment are the true “smoking gun” in the murder of a gay teenager. It is not the simple question, “Where were his parents?” but “What kind of values were being taught and what kind of parental control was being practiced in this Oxnard, California household? The internet could be named as an accomplice here, since any kid could put together the six dollars and a quarter to buy the training DVD.  Life is cheap.  So, apparently, is death.

In an undated Queerty story, “we learn this disturbing fact about the killer of eighth grader Lawrence King: He boasted proudly of having guns at his house, just in case, on the off chance he wanted to kill someone, he could.”  (See: “Boy accused of killing gay classmate bragged he had guns at home, police say,” July 20, 2009.)

When I Google the phrase “teaching kids to shoot guns” I get “about 1, 490,000″ hits. Some of them are on the negative side of the issue. Many, probably most, of them are on the side of literally teaching kids to shoot guns. The NRA has a page on “Safety Information for Parents”.  Gee, great!  The parents of Brandon McInerney hardly need to worry now about teaching their son safety information. If convicted of first degree murder, he will be behind bars for a long time. Apparently the crime was pre-meditated, by the way, because he had bragged to other school chums that he was going to kill King.  No one at the school took him seriously. But why didn’t his family take it seriously, since they had to know about the instructional DVD and the swastikas?

Another cool site is at www.christiangunowner.com (screen capture above) where a true oxymoron is this guy’s motto: “Christian first American second gun owner third.” In the first place, Jesus tells us to put down our weapons. “All who take the sword will die by the sword,” Matthew 26:52. I don’t think there’s any wiggle room for this. The sword is the ancient equivalent of today’s handgun. How any Christian can rationalize keeping, using and teaching their kids to shoot guns in realistic environments (not on a firing range) is an unconscionable abuse of Christian ethics. No, the news accounts don’t reveal whether or not the McInerney family was a Christian church-going family—I am not holding my breath to find out. But if Christian people and Christian churches refuse to teach rightly and control the extremist behavior of their members, then I say leave it to the government to hold the adults responsible for the criminal behavior of their children.

This is way bigger than a gay/straight thing, although it is an especially deep sadness that juvenile murders involve a teenage gay kid who barely had begun to understand himself as gay or learn how to behave appropriately as an “out” teenager.

And the fuzzy line in ethics and law over trying a juvenile as an adult only illustrates the fuzziness of our culture that cannot decide whether to be ethical, to have concerns, to have limits, or to say “whatever…” to virtually every moral question. On the Amazon page selling the DVD on how to shoot “in realistic environments,” for example, is another add for Kinder Care Learning Centers. Do child care centers now offer to teach kids to shoot guns? Is this okay in our society, that to express affection for someone of the same sex is still not okay (apparently labeled as sexual harassment by McInerney’s defense attorney, because he was “humiliated” by King’s affection), but it is okay to train children to kill one another.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Violence, Public Affairs, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Fear of wrath vs. faith in lovingkindness.

July 21, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Novelist and teacher Don Belton, in the anthology “Wrestling with the Angel” [Brian Bouldrey, ed.; New York: Riverhead Books, 1995] writes of growing up under the holiness requirements of his father’s faith. Modern Pharisaism seems to have sprouted continually in many places in the Christian world, even though the New Testament makes it clear that Jesus put all that stuff to rest. Belton tells of his experiences and impressions, not theological arguments or doctrines, as his father’s rigid views came down to the family level.

“There was a way to speak to adults, my father taught me. A way to ask. A way to speak on the telephone. A way to eat. To be excused from the table. To stand. To sit. To behave when company came. A way to play so as not to disrupt the entire house. So as not to get my clothes dirty. Not a right and wrong way. There was one way: the way my father taught me. I was constantly corrected and reproved. I was rehearsed in his rules. I was policed and inspected. This color socks only goes with that color trousers. Use this fork for salad and that fork for meat. Only girls laugh: tee hee. Boys must laugh: ha ha. I took my rest at my precise bedtime, and my day began at exactly the same hour each morning. My evening and morning prayers were meticulously recited like incantations for an easy sentence in the prison of my father’s house. I was not allowed to break a ruler—ever. There was always something to say I was sorry for, something for which I knew I would never be entirely forgiven. Even at an early age, I learned to keep my sins secret.”

People who believe they have reached perfection through keeping rules will also likely believe they have attained holiness or righteousness the same way. How easy it is to transfer this rigid obsession with control and perfection to or from the world of religion. “My father’s house” could as well be the house of the heavenly God, in which, if we even hope to live there, we may not break any rule—ever.

Belton implies this transference.

“As far back as I can remember, I was carried back and forth to church, by my father and various other relatives. I was taken back and forth as though I were receiving treatments for a persistent ailment. During my childhood, we attended various churches, all of them Black and all of them Sanctified Holiness.”

I can’t speak for this particular denomination (a useful essay by Harold Raser’s can be found here), but its history can apparently be traced to the years before and after the Civil War among Christians for whom “sanctification” and “holiness” became not merely an obsession but a defining doctrine. These would be the polar opposite of my own heritage in faith, in which God’s grace, not our perfection, is the defining doctrine. For the one, the fear of God’s wrath tips the scale in favor of strict human obedience. For the other, faith in God’s lovingkindness tips the scale the other direction. Each view can find supporting verses in Scripture. Any of us could say “My Bible can beat up your Bible.”

Last week someone was telling me about a similar sanctified strain of Christian belief where a very pious and faithful father was kicked out of the congregation because his son had gotten into some kind of trouble. The father was not fit for the kingdom of God, it was reasoned, if he can’t control his own son. But I can’t help thinking about the Prodigal Father in Luke 15 who waited for his delinquent son to come home. What did the neighbors think about him? Would they have kicked him out of the synagogue?

Belton goes on to recount his own growing spiritual and carnal awareness as a gay man, but he neglects to say if he ran from the Sanctified Holiness church or if they expelled him. Since I have experience with that—I too have been expelled from a church (for pastoring while gay)—I find myself now playing the role of the waiting father for other LGBT people.

Sanctification and holiness are seductive doctrines. “Be perfect, even as your father in heaven is perfect.” The Sermon on the Mount sets the bar high. But when a church defines itself by holiness, it attracts people who tend to be extremists and perfectionists, who look down on everyone else as not being the genuine article, the true Christian. But is it not also the genuine article to pray with simplicity and reliance upon grace, “God be merciful to me, a sinner”?

— Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Doctrine, Ecumenical Issues, Fundamentalism, Faith, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »