Cynical double-speak, logical fiction

September 9, 2007 by Pastor Dan.

The New York Times yesterday ran an article on presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s flip-flopping over same-sex marriage.  In 2002 he assured Log Cabin Republicans that he would be their friend and work to prevent discrimination against gay people. Now, he is a torch bearer for a Federal Marriage Amendment which would not only block all states and the federal government from recognizing same-sex marriages, but also take away the civil rights we already have.

Romney is far from alone, in espousing something which seems quite fictional to me. How anybody can say they don’t discriminate, or are not in favor of discrimination, but also say they are opposed to granting equal marriage rights, is either lunacy or cynical double-speak. But millions of people apparently believe they don’t discriminate, or don’t have prejudices, while they continue to vote against (or elect officials who will vote against) the civil rights of LGBT people.

The double-speak is more likely the case. Conservatives can argue, for example, that they really don’t discriminate, and that lesbian and gay people already have equal marriage rights: we can get married to a person of the opposite sex. They see that as equal because, theoretically, everybody in America has that right – to marry someone of the opposite sex.

It is cynical because they have also incorporated into this logical fiction the idea that what we want is special rights, special treatment, based on our lifestyle or preferences.

As if, for example, everyone in America can enjoy vanilla ice cream, without discrimination. But we insist that we must have chocolate ice cream or we’re being treated unfairly. I use this trivial example because I believe their reasoning trivializes the reality we live every day. We identify as sexual minorities, and know that we do not have civil rights to allow us to live as we understand ourselves to be. They dismiss our argument by insisting that it’s all a matter of choice or preference or lifestyle.

Personally, I really don’t like getting trapped into the “choice” question, especially since some lesbian and gay people openly admit that being lesbian or gay is a choice which they make. Coming out is a deliberate step, a conscious choice, but about something over which I have no choice if I want to live with integrity.  For me, personally, the only choice is to choose between living a lie or living the truth.

So yes, that is a choice, but given the risks of living openly without the safety net of legal protections and civil rights is a cynical choice forced on us by people who are indifferent to the suffering their view cause for other human beings. They have the choice to change their views. I do not really have a choice except to live out the truth of my life.

And although I can partially replicate the protections of law (that come free with legal marriage) by other means such as nuptial agreements, wills, living trusts, durable power of attorney for health care, etc., I cannot replicate the 1,049 rights under federal law which automatically belong to heterosexual marriage couples. Most of all, I cannot secure civil rights, especially in an era where fundamentalist Christian dogma literally rules the federal government.

It is chilling to think that our sitting president, whose administration has been one continuous disaster after another for LGBT people, did not really make anti-gay prejudice part of his campaign promises.  But Mr.  Romney seems to be doing that very thing.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

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