Moral forfeiture, vacuum of leadership.

June 30, 2009 by Dan Hooper.

Thanks to my good friend Frank in Phoenix for forwarding this message to me, especially after my recent reflections on Mr. Obama.  I also signed on (at the link at the bottom of this) to tell congress to get going. 

Subject: Tell Pelosi and Reid: Now is the time to repeal DOMA.

“Dear Friend,

First John Ensign. Now Mark Sanford. Seems like a lot of politicians who’ve voted to ban gay marriage have broken their own marriage vows.

And that’s why this is exactly the right time to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) - the awful legislation that prevents legally married same-sex couples from accessing federal rights and benefits.

President Obama claims he’s in favor of repealing DOMA - he just needs for Congress to send him a bill. Speaker Pelosi and Sen. Reid should give him the opportunity to make good on his word.

I just signed a petition to tell Speaker Pelosi and Sen. Reid to introduce legislation to repeal the Defense of Marriage Act. I hope you will, too. Please have a look and take action.”

http://act.credoaction.com/campaign/repeal_doma/?r_by=-1912776-1f40DVx&rc=paste

Above, Sen. John Ensign (R-Nevada) appears to be making a point, so let me offer oneof my own.  “Thou shalt not.”  It’s an old view on moral righteousness, isn’t it, Senator?  But you are one of the anchors keeping bad legislation like DOMA on the books. and now look what you’ve admitted to.  (Queerty has the link to Rachel Maddow’s “aftershock” report.  Apparently what he’s admitted to goes on and on beyond a mere affair.)  Ensign, we will remember, was one who called for President Clinton’ resignation after the Lewinsky (”I did not have sex with that woman”) affair, and also for Sen. Larry (”Widestance”) Craig to resignation after his arrest for public bathroom sex solicitation.

 

And now Gov. Mark Sanford, another conservative American, and one who had been considered as a running mate for John McCain in the 2008 presidential election and a possible 2012 president candidate, has explained his disappearing act.  According to the Wall Street Journal’s Capital Journal blog, about 54% of Americans think Sanford should resign. 

“And precisely half said that someone in “high public office” who commits adultery lacks the personal character to hold office.

“By contrast, when the Wall Street Journal and NBC News asked a similar question back in 1999, just 21% said adultery showed a lack of sufficient character for public office.

“Of course, that 1999 survey came amid raw feelings about the impeachment of President Bill Clinton in the aftermath of his own liaisons with Monica Lewinsky, and the reading likely was skewed by the partisan divide over that episode. Still, the poll findings suggest politicians who wander still can expect to pay a price.”

By my lights, the price to be paid is the forfeiture of conservative moral leadership that pretends to want to defend marriage.  DOMA doesn’t defend the marriages of Sen. Ensign or Gov. Sanford, and does nothing to protect the spouses and children of mid-life crisis failures who can’t seem to remember either their marital vows or the oath to uphold and defend the laws of this nation.  What really scares me about Sanford is that he went missing and lied even to his staff.  At least Ensign had his mistress (and her husband) on his staff, so at least one or two people knew what he was up to.

And if moral leadership is forfeited (whether or not these men resign their office) where are the elected officials with some integrity who will openly say that integrity itself demands the repeal of DOMA?

Posted in Sex, LGBT Rights, Public Affairs | Print | No Comments »

Our stories, our audacity to hope!

June 25, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

President Obama is possibly better known for his second book, The Audacity of Hope than for his first book, first published in 1995, before he was elected as Senator from Illinois, Dreams from My Father [New York: Three Rivers Press, 1995, 2004].

It is a moving and inspiring read, especially because as the reader, I know this man will one day become President of the United States, whereas Barry Obama when he wrote it did not know that. Clearly he is a young man on the way up, as he describes the unique and formative experiences which shaped his character.

Those who spread the rumor that Obama is Muslim, not Christian, have evidently not read the book, or simply decided to traffic in falsehood. Deep into his Chicago years (Chapter 14) Obama recounts his experience in hearing Rev. Jeremiah Wright. In fact, it was Wright who used the now famous phrase, “the audacity of hope!” in a sermon which Obama recounts hearing, and reflects upon in some detail.

“And in that single note—hope!—I heard something else; at the foot of that cross, inside the thousands of churches across the city, I imagined the stories of David and Goliath, Moses and Pharaoh, the Christians in the lion’s den, Ezekiel’s field of dry bones. Those stories—of survival, and freedom, and hope—became our story; my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this black church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn’t need to feel shamed about, memories more accessible than those of ancient Egypt, memories that all people might study and cherish—and with which we could start to rebuild.”

The President understands the audacity of claiming ancient Jewish stories and making them black stories of power, pride and longing for respect and freedom? But does Mr. Obama also understand, where he says, “Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, black and more than black,” that African-Americans have no copyright on trials and triumphs, the struggles to overcome prejudices and oppressions, and the righteous labor to achieve justice and civil rights?

I re-read the words from my own experience and place in this world, where, “we” and “us” and “our” have a different point of reference:

” . . . Those stories—of survival, and freedom, and hope—became our lesbian and gay story; my story; the blood that had spilled was our blood, the tears our tears; until this gay church, on this bright day, seemed once more a vessel carrying the story of a people into future generations and into a larger world. Our trials and triumphs became at once unique and universal, gay and more than gay; in chronicling our journey, the stories and songs gave us a means to reclaim memories that we didn’t need to feel shamed about, memories more accessible than those of ancient Egypt, memories that all people might study and cherish—and with which we could start to rebuild.”

The Obama administration is off to a slow start in its support for LGBT justice issues. Yesterday’s meeting with movement leaders at the White House, on the 40^th anniversary of Stonewall, was supposed to be an important signal. I have yet to see much mainstream news coverage that made note of it. But we need to keep reminding Mr. Obama of our own audacity of hope.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in LGBT Christian, LGBT Rights, Public Affairs | Print | No Comments »

Can you trust me?

June 24, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Tonight I was trying to finally connect a friend of a church friend with a friend of another church friend. One of them needs at home-care, and the other has done a lot of elder care. There are other issues, too, not the least of which is that the two women have not met each other. The elder needs to be able to trust this stranger she will pay to care for her in her own home. And trust is a big issue for elders, whether or not they realize it. All too often we read the horror stories of elders being taken advantage of, sometimes on the order of huge sums of money.

Trust is a major issue for lesbian/gay people, too. We have been taken advantage of, big time. Some of us have entrusted “our secret” only to have been outed by the person we thought was sensitive, honest, caring and could respect a confidence. Over and over, highly-placed people in the church, whether a local congregation, or the office of a bishop, have broken trust in a completely un-Christian way.

Is it any wonder that LGBT people don’t trust the church? Maybe it’s like hot gossip. We think that the sensationalism of some items of information somehow trump all other ethical considerations. In past generations, a broken confidence could be used to blackmail a homosexual. Nowadays its’ more like all over the internet, for free. But the damage to a life is still done, a confidence is betrayed, and trust is broken.

But it occurs to me that this is precisely where the power of coming out picks up its own momentum. When we are honest—completely honest—about ourselves, our lives, our sexuality, our relationships there is nothing else than an unethical person can do to hurt us. If everyone already knows I am gay, then my friends are my friends knowing I am gay, and those who cannot be my friend will just avoid me because I’m gay. At least they all know where I stand, who I really am, and whom to ask if they have honest questions. If I am completely honest, my honesty about my sexuality and life present an implied challenge—or even a demand—to everyone else that they be honest with me and about me. If it is widely known that I’m gay, it would be preposterous for others to spread rumors or try to use innuendo to hurt me because, well, everybody knows.

The high cost, and high danger, of not coming out, of not being completely honest about my life, is that telling only partial truths, or stretching the truth, or manufacturing pure fiction to fill in acceptable details (which is like painting over reality with a wide brush), will eventually reveal to others that I cannot be trusted.

In years past, many homosexuals simply split their lives down the middle, between day and night, and made sure that the two never intersected. They thought that they were extremely careful to cover their tracks, so that the decent people who knew them as decent people would never have reason to suspect that their public lives were only part of the story. They thought. No matter how well-intentioned, a lie is never perfect, and in its flaws and erosions over time, it damages trust. People might not suspect that I am gay, but they know for sure that I am evasive, ambiguous, distant, opaque where I should be open, present, and transparent. They will come to not trust me even if they’re not sure why.

But when I come out, the two parts of my life simply re-weave into one life. My sexuality, my friends, my whereabouts, what I did last weekend, my boyfriend, my partner for life are not dark secrets, not fiction, not sketchy, not a lie. And the people who can handle that (increasingly they are the majority of people) will trust me because by my honesty I have removed all the reasons not to trust me.

In effect, I am who I am: a gay man with a life partner (using myself as an example). Take it or leave it; take me or leave me. And if I have entrusted myself, my life, my reality to you, I expect you to be honest with me. If you support me in my quest for dignity, respect, self-esteem, equal rights and the grace of God, then stand with me. But be honest, because if you can’t support me, then say so up front so we can all get on with out lives.

I say all of this in a Christian context, because I think this basic kind of honesty and trust-building is fundamental to the Gospel. We say that we trust God’s word, and that means we rely on it without the background fear that God lis really Charlie Brown’s Lucy who will pull the football away (grace and love) at the last second, or the fear that there is a trick question on the final (the judgment day) which will erase our good grades and cause us to flunk.

Gay and lesbian Christians are truly/truthfully living on faith because we are entrusting to God the honesty of our lives in the confidence that God is being totally honest and trustworthy with us. If that isn’t faith I don’t know what is. Can we trust God? And if God is trustworthy, shouldn’t God’s people, the Church, be trustworthy also? Can we trust Christians to be who they say they are—disciples, not judges—? Can I trust you?

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Gay Catechism, "The Closet", Bible & Interpretation, LGBT Christian, Living by Grace, Faith, Coming Out | Print | No Comments »

Praise God: Two Years!

June 22, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

“Where have you been?” the accusing voice in my head says. There’s a legit explanation, of course. I was inundated with nine days running of house guests and all that entails (cleaning house, for one thing), and then playing catch up on my own duties. Each time I thought about blogging, I just gave up.

I don’t want to dwell on this (who would?) but it is two years today since I had cancer surgery. Thank God there is no sign that it has come back.

A blog is a personal thing, but I don’t find blogs which are diaries, or verbal web cams, to be very compelling. I usually draw from my own experience, but I hope what is written here always has the element of something more universal.

But maybe that’s why I am musing about this personal anniversary. In the last 28 months since I was diagnosed with prostate cancer, I have met numerous men who are struggling with the same reality, or the fear of it. And I have said the last rites for one of them, and tried to comfort his partner of nearly 50 years, who is also fighting prostrate cancer.

If you are male and even close to being forty, find out your PSA. Ask questions, and monitor the numbers. Prostate cancer affects a huge percentage of men, but there are a number of treatment options and each one of them is getting better all the time.  And they do not dictate the end of your sex life!  (In all honesty, there are some men who think that is worse than death. It sounds irrational, but it is a very real fear.) 

 The only thing that doesn’t get better with the passing of time is your chance of survival if you don’t even know you have it.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Sex, Living by Grace, Health | Print | No Comments »

Mr. Obama: Prove you are your Own man!

June 20, 2009 by Dan Hooper.

Gay Critics Say ‘Too Little, Too Late’ from Obama

By Kristi Keck, CNN |  Thursday, June 18, 2009  |  Story Highlights:

• White House officials: Obama favors full benefits, but legislation is needed
• Obama expands some benefits to same-sex partners, but not health care
• “Nice gesture, but a disappointment,” says Richard Kim, senior editor of The Nation
• Some critics show discontent by pulling out of DNC gay fundraising dinner

(CNN) – “President Obama’s decision to grant some benefits to the same-sex partners of federal employees is seen by some as his attempt to extend an olive branch to the gay and lesbian community, but critics say it’s ‘too little, too late.’ .  .  .”

I can’t follow politics too closely (because it’s too painful), but this one has the feel of “deja vu all over again.” After an 8-year administration which essentially deplored gay and lesbian people, we had expected more from Obama, but this and other things are nudging me to admit that the Obama years will look like the Clinton years.

Admittedly, Mr. Obama has a huge amount of stuff to face. The nation and the world do not wait for him to catch up. But as we’ve seen for decades now, it is all too easy to say that, well, there are a lot more significant problems and issues facing our elected officials than whether homosexuals get to have their piece of the pie — benefits, equal treatment, same-sex marriage, you name it.

This statement from Martin Luther is worth repeating: “How soon not now becomes never.” Luther pursued urgency in the reform and renewal of the Church in the 16^th century. It resisted, and backed up its resistance with imperial power. For the rest of his lifetime, and then for several more centuries. How soon not now becomes never.

Why should any generation of people in the minority be told by the power-holding majority that the timing is not right, or that they will have to wait, or that the votes aren’t there.

In this case, DOMA—that Clinton-era legislative garbage— is the culprit. Yes, it would be very difficult for Mr. Obama to publicly say that DOMA has to go. But his administration should be working to get rid of it as soon as possible, or at the least finding covert ways to drag before the Supreme Court to blow it away.

“Defending” marriage by defending the majority’s rights to select benefits is blatant “entitlement” which conservatives have been ranting about for years. Why should heterosexual couples be “entitled” to live a decent life, including such basics as health and retirement benefits, which by statute cannot be available to those who are not heterosexuals or liars (in the closet).

The injustice is obvious. Not only is it time to correct the injustice, the Obama administration is the one which needs to correct it. The President sold “Hope” to America with the clear implication that his administration would not be Clinton’s third term. Now he has to prove it.

— Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in "The Closet", LGBT Rights, Public Affairs | Print | No Comments »

Critical Mass

June 16, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

The nation is changing, as if we haven’t noticed, and the pace of change is changing, speeding up, on overdrive. I’ve purposely been avoiding same-sex marriage stuff for a few weeks so that readers can be assured that there are other issues to talk about. But in today’s news, the pace of change on this issue is reinforced again: 

The U.S. Conference of Mayors at their 77th Annual Convention today passed a resolution calling for full marriage equality for same-gender couples. In addition to its strong language on marriage equality, the resolution passed today also endorses the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, the Military Readiness Enhancement Act, the Uniting American Families Act, and the Matthew Shepard Local Law Enforcement Hate Crimes Prevention Act.

The resolution, called “Equality and Civil Rights for Gay and Lesbian Americans,” said the following on the subject of marriage equality: “…The U.S. Conference of Mayors supports marriage equality for same-sex couples, and the recognition and extension of full equal rights to such unions, including family and medical leave, tax equity, and insurance and retirement benefits, and opposes the enshrinement of discrimination in the federal or state constitutions.”

Ross Murray, Associate Director, Lutherans Concerned/North America, said “As we continue to advocate for full inclusion of LGBT Lutherans in the life of their church, we are encouraged that leaders in the secular world are beginning to recognize what we have known for a long time: that LGBT people are and always have been part of the wondrous diversity of creation, and, as such, are entitled to equality in society, as well as in the church.”

Phil Soucy, Director Communications LC/NA: communications@lcna.org

So, maybe we are really reaching the critical mass for social change on the marriage issue, when even Dick Cheney thinks it’s okay and the U.S. Conference of Mayors wants to be in the “yes” column (see its Resolution No. 46 here). Note also that the same resolution supports ENDA legislation and the Matthew Shepherd act. Support like this is pretty cool on the occasion of the 40^th Anniversary of the Stonewall riots.

Somebody let me know when the actual “tipping point” arrives for LGBT people, so that we can hold a celebratory concert, party or church service in honor of it. Maybe we could call it the “Critical Mass” and offer prayers of thanksgiving?

The only problem is that homophobic Christians may use the term in the other sense, and hold a Mass which is critical of same-sex marriage. More than likely the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops that would back that one. It opens tomorrow in San Antonio, Texas. Hmmm.

— Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Catholic matters, LGBT Rights, History, Public Affairs, PRAYERS | Print | No Comments »

Blows me away.

June 15, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Wayne Besen makes, as usual, some excellent points is his column critiquing the Ex-Gay industries, especially Exodus International and Focus on the Family. (See: “What’s Their Point?” What they spread as love is narrowly focused not to love the homosexual they supposedly want to help, but only themselves.

Besen, who is Jewish and I believe not particularly religious, nonetheless has the integrity and intelligence to question whether the religious motivation of Ex-Gay ministries is genuine. He reminds us that if the Christian faith wants to spread the love of God, they are doing a strange job of it by alienating tens of thousands of LGBT people, not only from “evangelical Christianity” but from religion in general.

For every guilt-ridden homosexual who temporarily falls under their spell, they lose hundreds, if not thousands, of gay people who view their conversion program as intolerant. If your ministry causes many gay people to write off not just Christianity, but all religion, by what measurement can you consider your evangelizing a success?

If these ministries want to love homosexuals and save them from a homosexual life-style, more often they drive young people to depression, abject despair, and suicide. Despair often contributes to self-destructive behaviors as well, so Besen cites a recent Emory University Study suggesting a link between banning same-sex marriage and HIV infection rates! (News: Georgia Political & Policy Digest; Emory News Release.)

Is this what a loving God would really want? A lot of guilt-ridden, repentant, dead homosexuals? For once I am glad that someone form outside the Christian community can publish a critical look at the Ex-Gay expression of beliefs and tell them directly, “you are not being persuasive.”

It reminds me of the scene in Sister Mary Ignatius Explains it All For You, in which the good sister carefully determines that one of her former catechism students, who was homosexual, had gone to confession for his sins and not done any other same-sex acts since his last confession.

GARY. Yes, Sister?  SISTER. You still believe what you do with Jeff is wrong, don’t you? I mean, you still confess it in confession, don’t you?  GARY. Well I don’t really think it’s wrong, but I’m not sure, so I do still tell it in confession.  SISTER. When did you last go to confession?   ALOYSIUS. This morning actually. I was going to be playing Saint Joseph and all.  SISTER. And you haven’t sinned since then, have you?  GARY. No, sister. (Sister shoots him dead.)SISTER. (Triumphantly.)  I’ve sent him to heaven! Christopher Durang’s play was screamingly funny, but when I saw it live in Los Angeles years ago, I also remember that my chest was pounding when Sister Mary pulled out her revolver. There is something just too real about homophobic hatred even when it is disguised as love or prayer or good intentions.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Homophobia, Gay Catechism, Lesbian/Gay Marriage, Doctrine, LGBT Rights, Ex-Gay | Print | No Comments »

Via Negativa: Just Vote No!

June 12, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Every year or so the various mainline Christian denominations hold their national conventions, and homosexuality seems to be back on trial again. Conservatives blame it on us because we refuse to sit down and be quiet. We blame it on them for digging in their heels against us, other Christians, experts, society and the Holy Spirit. “And they’ll know we are Christians” to paraphrase an old folk song, “by what we say NO to.”

Next month, the General Convention of the Episcopal Church U.S.A. meets here in Southern California, and it is probably going to be contentious again. Since the last meeting, several Southern California Episcopal congregations have bolted from the national church body, been told they were forfeit their real estate to the Diocese, fought that in court and lost, etc.

Unlike the old Hollywood cowboy and Western movies, there never seems to be the final “showdown” which settles everything. One “showdown” leads to the next, which leads to the next.

Whether conservative or renegade, break-away Episcopalians like it or not, the Episcopal Church has found itself on the leading edge of acceptance of LGBTQ people. Early on it recognized the truth that “the body of Christ has AIDS” — to de-stigmatize the fact that Christians are living with HIV/AIDS. It recognized that many of its own clergy are in fact gay or lesbian. One local diocese, New Hampshire, elected the Rev. Gene Robinson as their bishop. And “all hell broke loose” in the Anglican worldwide communion when the Episcopal Church ratified his election as the right person for the job, but the ultra-conservative and reactionary bishops elsewhere in the world, refused to recognize the validity of his orders.

This painful drama continues to be played out in the Episcopal Church. I hear that the local diocese is so preoccupied with the coming convention that it decided to completely ignore and bypass the Christopher Street West Pride Parade this weekend in West Hollywood —which every prior year in recent memory has seen a huge marching unit representing the Diocese and its parish churches.

In the meantime, the larger but less well-known Evangelical Lutheran Church in America has played its own drama. It meets in a church-wide Assembly every two years, and that comes up this August 17–23 in Minneapolis.

Just like other denominations, our LGBTQ lives are being put up to a vote again. The Lutherans have gotten bogged down over and over in “studies” in which the only people who actually learn anything about human sexuality and homosexuality are the individuals who wrote the study. Even though the papers they produce are routinely made available to the larger church (well, at least the last several times they have been), the faithful who occupy our pews and elect delegates to conventions don’t necessarily learn anything from the careful work of study commissions.

The last Lutheran study of homosexuality didn’t produce any tangible benefits. Every proposal to open up ordination and ordained service to lesbian and gay clergy met with resistance. The ELCA continued to polarize. A handful of congregations have said they will bolt the denomination, and they have plans well underway to vote themselves onto their own little island.

If my memory of the history is right, one of the arguments against changing the ordination standards was that the ELCA had no standing social teaching about human sexuality to guide it, so it shouldn’t talk about ordaining practicing homosexuals until it had an overall theology of sex in place.

Four years ago, the national ELCA Assembly authorized the drafting of a social statement on sexuality. Two years ago in Chicago, additional instructions were given to the study group doing the work on the social teaching. Even though the working group did not want to deal with church policy about homosexuality it was finally ordered to come back with recommendations on ELCA policy at this year’s Assembly.

This latest study, Human Sexuality: Gift and Trust, and its ministry recommendations voices the fact that we don’t all agree on matters of sexuality and homosexuality, and we need to commit to finding ways to live together without being in complete agreement.

Surprisingly, the ELCA may actually change its negative policies in August if it accepts the recommendations of the study group. Simply referred to as Ministry Policies (and downloadable here), the Assembly will have the chance to undo some of the damage done in 1990 when Vision and Expectations and Guidelines for Discipline were swiftly adopted and promulgated without review by the clergy of the church in an attempt to “preclude” lesbian and gay people in relationships from serving as clergy or lay professionals.

What we are doing here, in church body after church body, is trying to get rid of the Christian equivalent of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” policies. The United Church of Christ did that more than 30 years ago.

More importantly, maybe Lutherans will join other Protestants in continuing to ditch the via negativa theology (and if you’re really interested, check this out) of sex that has captivated the majority of Christians for more than a thousand years. Maybe.

In the Lutheran system, the clergy and lay people elected to represent the congregations at the churchwide Assembly are not “delegates”–they are not required to vote on matters as their home synods or congregations instruct them, but are free to vote their own minds and hearts as the Holy Spirit guides them.

Which is why I say “maybe.”

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Ecumenical Issues, Doctrine, Hollywood, LGBT Christian, History, ELCA | Print | No Comments »

We have questions.

June 11, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

The gradual tipping of Christian attitudes about LGBT people is seen by the ultra-conservative as the eroding of the Christian faith and the ultimate slippery slope.

I have repeatedly tried to remind Christians that “The Christian Faith” is our faith about Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the redemption of the whole world in light of the Cross. There is no article of faith in any of the great Creeds of the church which talks about sex. Period. No view of human sexuality is embedded in our faith.

Yes, there are references galore in the Bible (both Testaments), but if we are honest the Bible is in a constant state of being re-evaluated , reinterpreted and re-thought. It is not because we are wandering down a slippery slope, but because as life goes on new questions arise.

Nearly twenty years ago when the ELCA was trying to get a new sexuality study written (and oh Lord what a disaster that process turned out to be!), I got an invitation through the one openly gay and openly lesbian members of the task force, to speak to the whole study commission in Chicago. I was able to present the theological insights which have been bubbling up from Lutherans Concerned/North America for more than three decades.

In my address, that night, I reiterated a saying that had been given to me (source unknown):

“The theologian’s first task is to answer the questions. The second task is to question the answers. But the third task is to question the questions.”

One seminary professor scoffed ferociously at me before the whole room full of task force members, as if to ridicule the idea that questions of Christian faith and life are always subject to re-examination.

Unless we live in an autocratic system, all questions are always open to revision. To a great extent, Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy remain closed systems, because they have given authoritative status to ancient answers, and implicitly have limited themselves only to ancient questions. Similarly, other Christians seem to be stuck in the 16^th century Reformation, or in the 19^th Century revival experiences. Which, ironically, is not what ancient Christians did, because they faced many new questions and continued to search, pray and rethink how they responded in faith to these new questions. For example, whether to fully welcome the Gentiles into the company of Jesus was a new question which could not be dodged.

We don’t live in ancient times, and modern questions simply come up by themselves without anyone’s “failure,” manipulation or willful heresy. The sooner the living Christians today realize that we are the only disciples of Christ who are around, the better. The Holy Spirit is with us to guide us, because we are the faithful who are living now, and the truth and practice of the Christian faith always hinges on the faithful who are living, not on those who have passed on. Although we can partially be guided by former questions and the faithful of former times who tried to respond to their questions, we cannot be limited to living in a world which, bluntly, does not exist any longer.

And if the Holy Spirit is alive and dwelling with us, as Jesus promised, the Spirit is our contemporary. We will not hear the Spirit simply echoing ancient answers to contemporary questions.

I trust the Spirit, and I experience the presence of the Holy Spirit, in respecting our questions, even though I realize some Christians are obsessed with our agenda. I can’t speak for everyone else in the LGBTQ/Christian movement, but my agenda is to let contemporary questions come to light so that the Holy Spirit may guide us into all truth. And in my faith journey, Truth is not just a book full of ancient content, ancient answers. Truth is a process, a way of discerning, a way of faithfully responding in the Spirit to the questions of people who are seeking today, now, in our living world.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Doctrine, Bible & Interpretation, Ecumenical Issues, Fundamentalism, LGBT Christian | Print | No Comments »

Just say no.

June 8, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I took a friend with me today to help me dismantle a used greenhouse I have purchased (another story for another time). He’s single and unemployed. We got into a conversation about a male friend of his whom I do not know.

“Peter” is not gay. He told me that this other friend of his is gay. Peter is not the kind who has hang-ups about sexual labels. His brother is gay. He knows I am too, and he knows lots of gay people, especially around our church. He is not quick to judge, and he’s not uncomfortable around gay men.

Or, he is overly respectful and careful of how to talk about his discomfort. To make a long story short, he went to this friend’s house for the weekend, apparently to help him do some handy-man kind of work. Peter needs work and needs money, and this recession is especially cruel to those who are chronically unemployed. But being with the “friend” for the weekend –which of course meant sleeping over as well—can take a strange turn. Peter said there was lots of beer, lots of TV, videos, etc. In fact— and he was so shy to explain this to me because he still calls me Pastor— after enough beer, the videos turned to porn.

Okay, he finally began to voice to me that he was uncomfortable, and I think he was looking for the language to articulate that discomfort. I guess I helped him by asking questions, and learned that it was heterosexual porn —something I am guess that his gay “friend” thought might appeal to Peter, especially after a few beers.

If Peter lacked the right words or awareness to talk about his discomfort with this development, I suspect it was because straight men are not used to recognizing the signs of what I sense as sexual entrapment. Women are more aware of this stuff. It fits the larger patterns of sexual abuse that range from sexual manipulation all the way up to and including rape.

I think Peter is a bit naive, given his life experiences. Or, I am a bit more likely to jump to conclusions. Either way, I did come to the conclusion that Peter needs help processing how to say “no thanks” to his gay friend without losing the friendship. To me that is a bit ironic, since gay people are often the ones who don’t want to risk losing a friend — one of the factors in the dynamic of staying closeted.

As the conversation went on, Peter told me more details of the weekend, which I don’t think I need to share in this blog, but I recognized the traits of sexual predation over and over in what he told me. I tried to help him see the common threads with other forms of behavior that are usually labeled as sex abuse or child abuse. The most important factor is that if the relationship is not between peers or equals, it is impossible for one person to say No and be assured that his or her No will be respected. Children do not have the power to give an unconditional No to an adult who may try to lure or force them into sexual behaviors. Women do not always have the power to say No to a man.

Straight men, stereotypically, didn’t have to worry about such things at all, coming from either another man or a woman. Yet here was a straight man sitting in the passenger seat of my car explaining in detail that he was really uncertain how to say No. The “unequal” relationship between friends, in Peter’s situation, is that the friend was paying him money to help with handy-man tasks and giving him lodging, meals, beer and entertainment. Maybe Peter remembers his parents telling him, as a small boy, not to accept candy from a stranger. But maybe he didn’t immediately get the connection between candy and beer/videos/oddjobs.

So what’s the moral of the story? That straight men have something to fear from gay men? No. But men of all orientations still tend to think they can manipulate, control, buy, rent or work other people into sexual behaviors. The only legitimate sexual behavior is that which is grounded in the uncoerced, unmanipulated consent of the parties. Period.

— Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

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The arts and the sacraments of community.

June 5, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

One of my other hats in the community is as an organizer of new ventures in spirituality and the arts. This being Hollywood, involvement in the arts is almost required. Every week I meet more people involved in film, music, theatre, design and visual arts.

Deacon Roberta Morris came to me more than a year ago and proposed that we launch a new organization for spirituality and the arts. It is still in formation now and will incorporate shortly as a non-profit. But in the meantime, we launched the Los Feliz Art Walk, one of a growing number of grassroots neighborhood arts enterprises to allow emerging artists to exhibit their work, and some of the surrounding galleries, studios and public art spaces to reach new audiences.

Tonight was our monthly First Friday Art Walk. The informal center of the cluster of galleries and stores is our church’s work in progress—Courtyard Studio & Arts— which is being created out of junk classroom space and a back playground now filled with grass and a bubbling fountain. It is amazing what space, light and water can bring together. Since last September, we’ve had the Courtyard open for art exhibits, and the number of talented but unknown neighborhood artists who want to exhibit keeps growing. Three artists brought their work for tonight’s exhibit, two accomplished plein air painters and a sculptor.

Our hope is to eventually capture some modest grant money to pursue spirituality and the arts in many forms, including performance, film, music and other media. You can see some of our proposals as www.LosFelizArtWalk.org.

In these ten months, the most gratifying part of the Art Walks has been conversations with people who admit they are not religious but are trying to express or find (or both) their native spirituality in a way which is graciously received by others.

Without the formal structures of religion, spirituality is comfortable with all the arts, probably because it is not concerned to present, impose or enforce specific content or message. The arts speak with their own voice. So far that has included decorative work, crafts, sculptural nudes, both art and documentary photography, documentary film and spontaneous unscheduled music. For World AIDS Day , in conjunction with Hollywood Remembers, we also exhibited huge panels from the AIDS Memorial Quilt, the largest work of folk art in the world.

So far I have not drawn people directly into the church but I’ve had many conversations with total strangers who enjoyed our wine and cheese receptions, who were much more open to talking about faith, love, hopefulness in an age of cynicism, the spiritual search, and the spiritual lessons of life experiences with an openly religious parish priest. Most of these people were churched people at one time, but no longer. Some were wounded. Most became bored. Many were shown the door, made to be unwelcome at some point in their lives, yet felt happy to be able to be honest about their wounds, their boredom or their distance with a “man of the cloth.”

Of course, both because of people Roberta and I know, and because this is Hollywood after all, many of the artists and the public who come to see their work, are gay or lesbian or transgender. For them, being this near to a church can have an element of surprise or uncertainty. I try to put them at ease, both with my art and my faith and life experience.

To me, these chance encounters with lapsed Christians, non-practicing Jews and others, have almost been sacramental. The arts are sacraments, in one sense. Conversations can be confession and absolution. Simply for me to be present to unchurched people and to speak easily and openly about my own faith and life—including creativity, spontaneity, and hopefulness—is a genuine proclamation of the word. When I read Acts of the Apostles and some of Paul’s writings I realize that for every formal sermon he may have delivered to a gathered audience, he probably had a hundred informal one-to-one conversations first.

Maybe the biggest reason that the church as a whole fails so much to engage its culture and its neighborhood is that typically its doors are open only for the religion business, rather than for art, spirituality, community service and simple conversation. While we are growing only modestly, I have every confidence our trend will continue because of our creative ventures and our straightforward openness to people we don’t know. We will all learn from one another, and I suspect the Holy Spirit of God will find ways to be heard in those settings.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

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War and Rules of Engagement.

June 3, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

Last night, friends brought supper over (graciously still helping us both out since my spouse’s disastrous fall in early April in which he fractured seven vertebrae and two ribs). We got to talking about coming out as a result of my recent posts, and I mentioned the blog post/comment conversation about coming out in mid-life.

To which our friend Michael said, “How can you stay in [the closet]?” Probably the easiest answer to why people stay in their closets is the pain and fear of confrontation. And the “confrontation” is not necessarily external. Who was it that said that the biggest battles we ever fight are inside our own heads?

It set me thinking about some words I began writing years back and sort of refined two years ago, and these are about the external confrontation which we either engage or flee (or both). In part:

“If you are part of the gay/lesbian movement, and part of a Christian organization, you are likely caught in a love-hate relationship with the church (specifically of your own particular denomination). As you wrestle with what it means to be gay or lesbian and to be Christian at the same time, you are also wrestling with the Church as it struggles with what it means to have gay and lesbian people openly in its midst.

“Many of us become discouraged, angry, frustrated and defeated—at the same time we are energized, hopeful, joyful and committed. We have every right to feel both of these moods, and we can be subject to rapid mood swings. Our task is not easy. But we have taken up a cross and we follow. Let us not be grandiose. It is not our own crosses we have shouldered, but Christ’s cross, worthy to be carried, which should humble us as well as ennoble us.

“It’s not for everyone. For what it’s worth, a different metaphor could be more serviceable: we are doing battle, engaged in the very tough hand-to-hand combat of changing the church’s mind, in faith, about some very basic and important issues. “Onward, Christian soldiers!” It is the Cross leading us, moving out before us. But wait! We need some basic training —things we all need to know before we get into the thick of the battle, and some rules of engagement.

“Some people may find the confrontational or battle language here offensive and call it counter-productive. It is not used flippantly, however. The military metaphor may seem out of fashion, but if it ever had any usefulness, it fits here. We are not fighting people—brothers and sisters in the faith. We are fighting the very real demons who inhabit both church and world. We must see ourselves as we really are—a minority within an overwhelming majority, chicks caught in a shell that stubbornly will not break open. We are still emerging, being born, coming out, waking up from a millennium-long hibernation during which homophobia, oppression, and death have reigned.

“Confrontation is unavoidable, even though paranoia may not be justified. As certainly as for the people of the New Testament, there are strong and dangerous forces out there: powers, principalities, angels, demons. The worst mistake gay and lesbian Christians could do is to deny their existence, or to discount the centrality of struggle.

“But in preparation for battle, in the midst of confrontation, we must be certain of what those forces are, and who The Enemy is.”

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in Doctrine, "The Closet", Ecumenical Issues, LGBT Christian, Coming Out, Faith, Ministry | Print | 1 Comment »

A new course, at mid-life.

June 2, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I am responding here to a Comment just posted re: my May 31 entry, “I thought you should know.” Thanks, Doctor Olson, for your thoughtful remarks. I welcome the dialogue.

True, there is not enough discussion about those who come out at mid-life. Reflecting a bit, I realize how many people I have met over the years who were not teenagers or young adults trying to fit their new self-awareness into their goals and aspirations for their futures, but mid-life adults whose life experiences, values and priorities had been fully shaped before they were able to do the psychological, emotional and spiritual homework involved in “coming out.” I remember, for example:

• A grand-father who had lived a furtive second sexual life for some years, but finally came out to his wife, who was outraged, rejected him and immediately filed for divorce. “Don’t even think you will tell the children,” she threatened him, “or you will never see your grandchildren again!”
• A Lutheran pastor who was heterosexually married for a number of years before he became aware that the sexual dysfunctionality in his marriage was really because of his underlying sexual orientation, which he had suspected since he was 20. So why did he marry? Because he had been taught as a young person, as Martin Luther believed, that “marriage is the cure for fornication.”
• A mature woman who was aware of occasional but significant emotional bonds with other women, but who was not in touch with her own erotic feelings for a variety of reasons, including the fact that women of her generation were strongly discouraged from paying attention to their bodies or to anything erotic.

Where do mid-life people turn for support? How do they begin to appropriately fit into the lesbian/gay community, at any level, when they don’t know the vocabulary, history or culture that comes along with it which is typically picked up by young people very quickly? Learning gay or learning lesbian at mid-life is just as difficult as learning French or Portuguese.

And in a sexual culture where youth and beauty are prized, how does someone over 40, or over 50, compete for sexual and emotional attention? How does one go about the process of dating and mating, as a beginner at mid-life? One divorcee, the father of adult children, told me that he was experiencing adolescence all over again in mid-life as a single gay man. He has since settled down with a partner and exchanged promises in a liturgical ceremony.

Probably the greatest difficulty in coming out at mid-life is the social pressure to just keep on living the life one has lived before—and so to stifle one’s inner struggle, one’s secrets, pains, longings, loneliness, whatever. Just “put up with it,” rather than attempt a major change in one’s life. It is like changing course in the middle of the swimming pool when you’ve already swum much of the length of it and the water is really deep and you’re getting tired.

I am mindful of St. Paul’s advice that a Christian should just be content to remain in the status or place one is already in (1 Corinthians 7:17–24). “In whatever condition you were called, brothers and sisters, there remain with God.” Yes, but . . . !! Yes, but . . . there are a lot of factors involved, Paul, and that advice ought not to be applied with a broad brush. I had to rethink such things myself when I first became aware of the issues many transgender people have lived through, in order to be truthful and honest to themselves as well as to others about their gender identity. If there is deeply-rooted gender dysphoria (I think that’s the right term?), it is surely not serving God truthfully to be tormented, obsessed or preoccupied, miserable, conflicted and even self-destructive because there is a passage in the Bible that says we ought to be able to put up with our condition for the sake of Jesus.

If truth be told, that passage has probably been applied a lot because others (family, church, friends) wanted to protect their own comfort level. It can make the kids uncomfortable to find out that Dear Old Dad has “decided” he is gay at age 46 or 55.  Why couldn’t he just ignore the feelings? Why couldn’t he at least keep them to himself?

Coming out, at any age, is essentially the work and the fruit of personal integrity. None of us has the right to expect another to live without integrity just because it is disruptive or confusing or uncomfortable. Ultimately, we prize the wisdom and maturity which comes with age, and sometimes that wisdom and maturity urges us to drop all the pretenses and appearances and games we’ve played earlier in life in order to fully be who we are. And if who we are is gay or lesbian, or bisexual or transgender, so be it.  Surely God understands.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

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Homophobia and the Dopeler Effect.

June 1, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

A conversation with a visitor led him to tell me that he has been advised he needs to work on his internalized homophobia.

That concept has come a long way in recent years, and now even has its own diagnostic scale and studies to substantiate it. But has it ever been examined theologically? Sitting in the Dr.’s waiting room today, I quickly made a list of issues I would want to look at which contribute to internalized homophobia for a Christian. I’ve lived through it, and it has taken half a lifetime to process how much the internalization of theologically-shaped hatred has affected me.

1. I see myself as a sinful and worthless person. I am unworthy of love, especially of God’s love.
2. I hate my life (which runs much deeper than self-denial for the sake of the Gospel).
3. I hide in shame from the judgment of others.
4. I worry that I am already condemned by God—damned to hell for being lesbian/gay or for my same-sex behavior.
5. I feel powerless to repent of homosexuality or to change to heterosexuality in order to avoid judgment and condemnation.

In addition, another trait has been talked about by Wayne Besen in his book Anything But Straight.

   6.   I have tried very hard to change, and failed, so even God must have given up on me.

The core problem here is that what I have internalized, as a Christian, is the wording of Scripture itself, which has been used even indirectly to make me feel worthless, unworthy of love, powerless and damned. Each one of these numbered points probably has well-known Bible passages which can be associated with it. So if I am more than a nominal Christian, all I can do is squirm, and go on hating myself and my life and my failure to conform to what the Scripture apparently is saying.

But the true problem is that so much of Scripture has been misused, misinterpreted and misapplied to fit things for which it was not originally written. Particular words of warning and judgment which have anything to do with sex have been maliciously universalized as if they pertain to all lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people in all circumstances. And universal lessons about human nature and our penchant for self-serving ways have been particularized to point a finger at lesbian and gay people, etc.

In short, fundamentalists have played fast and loose with the Bible itself, with their “flip-and-point” methodology, to try to prove the homosexuality or any sexual variation is the ultimate evil. If you’ve seen the internet humor about the “Dopeler effect” (the tendency for stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly), you can figure out that fundamentalism has its own Theological Dopeler Effect. The voices which have tried to condemn me and consign me directly to hell are rapid-fire, loud and non-negotiable. the only way to deal with them is to stop listening, and to turn your God-given ears to the voice of the true God who reminds us that we are loved, and that in Christ we are worthy of his love, and that we are saved by grace not by conformity, sexuality, or self-inflicted misery.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

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I thought you should know.

May 31, 2009 by Pastor Dan.

I just had an interesting conversation this evening, at a Lutherans Concerned/Los Angeles reception/happy hour with a young woman enrolled in seminary. The subject we stayed on for a few minutes was “coming out.”

I don’t get around to this very often in this blog any more, even though I identified it two years ago as a subject worth blogging about —especially for Christians who are sometimes deeply conflicted about being lesbian/gay and Christian. Most of my conversations are with people who are already out, or at least partially out ~ somewhat open about their sexuality even if they’re selective about how they’ve shared it with. It kind of spooks me when I meet someone new who is only recently coming out to self or others. It’s hard to imagine any more that closeted people are still, well, in their closets. As time goes by, kids come out at earlier and earlier ages, so that a completely open gay boy of 13 or 14 is not unheard of. In contrast, when I was that age, it was homosexuality that seemed to be unheard of, and I was into my college years before I had the freedom and furtiveness to search the campus library for any information about it.

The young woman told me that she had come to her local Lutheran church directly from another church. She had been highly regarded there, apparently, and about to be elected or appointed as an officer of that congregation when (it sounded almost like an afterthought) she felt that full disclosure would be important. So she met with key people and said something like, “I just thought you should know,” that is, that she has a female partner of a number of years, etc.

They apparently didn’t take it well, hadn’t imagined it, and told her immediately that she couldn’t be an officer of their congregation, and in fact couldn’t even serve on a committee. But she could still come to church. That lasted about two weeks before she left and found a welcoming, LGBT-positive Lutheran church in the same neighborhood.

As in the church she left behind, there are hundreds—thousands of churches that still have closeted lesbian/gay members (some young, some not young at all) who must watch their backs and whose pastors and fellow parishioners probably don’t suspect they are lesbian, gay, etc. How can this be? I wonder if it happens because the self-righteous and un-welcoming churches must somehow assume that the general public has heard their zero-tolerance policy clearly enough not to attempt to come in or try to infiltrate. They must be shocked, shocked, to discover a Lesbian has sneaked past the gates. But what about the very young teenager who was born into a Christian congregation, only to discover their true inner sexuality 13 or 14 years later.

What was remarkable to me was that we had this conversation now, in 2009, rather than 1989 or 1979. Is this kind of secrecy/fear or rejection/exclusion really still going on in 2009?

You bet it is. The young woman reminded me of a Lutheran parish, I think in Minnesota, that after being a Reconciling in Christ (welcoming) congregation for a time, voted to bail out of the program: they actually decided to become unwelcoming. And to my mind the only reason that can still happen in this century is because the kids growing up there are afraid to come out.

How can I talk to kids, for example, who are14 or 15 years old about being Christian and lesbian or gay, or bisexual/transgender, etc., when they probably don’t know how to talk about it, or how to meet anybody like themselves to talk to? The internet of course—places like this blog—is a door that is wide open for kids who may be uncertain, intimidated, scared or, God forbid, already abused or severely punished because they tried to come out or to get truthful information.

Twenty years ago, Lutherans Concerned periodically sent out mailings to every Lutheran congregation in our region. Sometimes we included a simple poster, with our phone number in very big type.

665-LCLA

We imagined a scared kid who didn’t dare let on to anybody that s/he wanted to know more about being lesbian or gay. Maybe the secretary of the church would allow the poster to be put up on a bulletin board. And maybe these kids would see it, and without revealing even a nonchalant interest in it, could see the number from across the room and memorize the phone number.

Yes, we did get a few calls like that, but the young person on the other end of the phone line was too scared to give us a full name or an address to send more information or a monthly newsletter.

Enter the internet, and the information is all here and nobody has to give names at all if you don’t want to, and even a 14 year-old Christian kid knows how to surf the web and then delete your browsing history so other users of the computer won’t have a clue where you’ve been cruising. Of course, getting good information and advice on coming out doesn’t take away the frustrating, painful, risky work of actually coming out.

If you are that kid, remember: (1) God loves you as you are (2) don’t panic; (3) the love and truth of the Gospel is much bigger and more powerful than all the little narrow minds in your local church; (4) you’re only a teenager for a short time, so you will have greater and greater freedom to explore and express your real self as you grow; (5) Google for help, for answers, for advice and for trustworthy counsel (and I don’t mean Twitter or Craig’s List or chat rooms!); (6) if necessary, delete your browser’s history; (7) trust your own inner feelings and experiences because the Holy Spirit may be speaking to your heart and guiding you to do the right thing for your life.

—Pastor Dan Hooper, Los Angeles

Posted in "The Closet", Gay Catechism, LGBT Christian, Coming Out, ELCA | Print | 1 Comment »